Thoughts for today: A list


  1. Why was the radio on in the post office at 7:30 in the morning on a Sunday?  Was someone there, or is there a pet that needed soothing, or a squatter?
  2. What happens at a flag retirement ceremony?  There are posters all over town advertising it, bring your tired old flags and we'll put them to rest appropriately.  I'm so curious about who will go, what it will be like, and so on.  Lullabies?  Deep six? Someone go and tell me, please.
  3. Do Epsom Salts really soothe your aching muscles, and if so, how?  This, I believe, can be answered by the internet, but ugh, climbing all the way up to the internets again.  How many times a day can I do that?
  4. Why do I have so much trouble with froth and brushing my teeth all of the sudden?  It used to be, brush teeth, no big deal.  Now, each time I brush, I later notice a white frothy mustache around my mouth, as if I have rabies.  Is it something with my saliva?  Or my technique?  The toothpaste?  Or, as I suspect, is it
    a new property in the world, like gravity, that no one is talking about, but it's happening to everyone?  Big government, undoubtedly?  Or is this the first sign of my personal end times?
  5.  Will we ever stop gun violence, or is it just a thing we'll continue to endure helplessly, like the weather?
  6. The potato chips that came with my sandwich today expire on Christmas.  Duly noted.
  7.  Why don't I know what vermiculite is?  Again, sheesh, if I felt like it, I could climb back up to the top of the internet and find out, but I'm all out of breath from #8.  But I'm embarrassed to confess that I don't really know what it is.  Is it related to mica?  Is it bad to harvest it as a substrate for a cricket home?
  8. I just converted my genetic testing results into medical results and discovered some interesting things.  One is that I'm less susceptible to the placebo affect than the average person.  The good news is that I have genes that are supposed to make me more empathetic, optimistic, employ sensitive parenting techniques, less likely to have autism, and, best news of all, less likely to get Alzheimer's.  (Which seems to confirm that the toothpaste thing is a government plot?).  The bad news is that I'm going to die.  Eventually.  Probably of cancer.  

That's it. 


Comments

  1. People who keep posting on FB that a weekly bath with epsom salts and something else (I can't remember) will draw toxins from your body. I keep wanting to tell them that the human body doesn't work this way. But then I think, "Well, maybe it does."
    Let us know if you find out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know. Toxins leaking out. What, we fire our livers? Outsource our toxins?

      Delete
  2. Here's a thing about vermiculite and crickets:
    http://www.backyardchickens.com/t/35280/raising-crickets-101
    Are you having fun with your cricket friends? Are THEY having fun? Have you developed any new recipes yet?

    A few minutes ago I was thinking of eating. Suddenly I don't feel hungry anymore. A new diet for you, a new diet for me, two different things entirely :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't really gotten in to full-fledged farming yet. But yes, vermiculite is for crickets! It will just be flour, though, no recognizable body parts. :-)

      Delete
  3. Don't Epsom salts have magnesium in them (a muscle relaxant) and that's why they work? I just made that up but I could be right. (I am a medical professional, don't forget).

    I think a flag retirement ceremony is when the other flags 'roast' the retiring flag and eat mac and cheese and other casseroles their wives made and then there are speeches about what a great flag it was and then somebody gives the flag a gold watch.

    Afterwards, the flag hangs around the house annoying the wife.

    Your friend Beth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you're right. About everything. The epsom salts (though, do they leak into the skin? I had the labor where they injected me with magnesium, um yes, quite relaxing indeed.)

      The retirement party sound exactly right too. But what does a flag need a watch for? Aren't they all, "sunup/ sundown"?

      Your friend back,
      Betsy

      Delete
  4. Don't Epsom salts have magnesium in them (a muscle relaxant) and that's why they work? I just made that up but I could be right. (I am a medical professional, don't forget).

    I think a flag retirement ceremony is when the other flags 'roast' the retiring flag and eat mac and cheese and other casseroles their wives made and then there are speeches about what a great flag it was and then somebody gives the flag a gold watch.

    Afterwards, the flag hangs around the house annoying the wife.

    Your friend Beth

    ReplyDelete
  5. We have crickets for the frogs, but not in vermiculite. Might try it to make them smell better. Only had cancer once, so far. You will only die in your current form. Your atoms will always be here in one form or another as matter can neither be created, nor destroyed if the first law of thermodynamics is true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that's a good point. We morph into something else. Maybe vermiculite, even.

      Delete

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