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Investigation

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I think I'll take up the investigation myself.  My qualifications:

1.  I have a very curious and mildly ferocious dog.  She would definitely be up for an investigation.  In fact, she's hoping for one.  As an example, I woke up at 5:30 the other morning thinking about this half-dead frog, and how it was probably dead, and I should go find it and get the skeleton.  Who was totally game and bounded outside with me?  Yes, Jasmine the dog.  That's the kind of spirit we need on this investigation.  And you can see how aggressive she is.

2.  I have an abundance of corn starch in my cupboard, left over from having little kids who made potions.  (Now they are adults and they make their potions elsewhere.)  Cornstarch, of course, will be used to dust for fingerprints.

3.  I own a magnifying glass, thousands of honeybees (which may become useful for smuggling information), and a nice little GPS unit.

4.  I'm not connected with any of the people involved, which may seem like a bad…

The dog, the bees, the planets

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Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):  Well, we've had a parade since I last posted, and it was super fun and I'd highly recommend it if you're down in the dumps about Trump and John B Macklemore and climate change and all the rest of it. There's no downside to walking around with the other townsfolk as a vegetable.  Have a look at some pictures.  And meanwhile, Pisces, be a vegetable next year!  

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  I have the rodent problem in my house again, which means that I lie awake quite a bit while the rodents move their furniture around in the attic, directly over my bed.  I think about Hanta virus quite a bit, and wonder if it's a terrible way to go, or just regular.  Aries, my attic, along with the rest of the country, has been going to hell in a bucket.  RESIST.  Be part of the "Not-going-to-hell-in-a-bucket" crowd.  

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  I have a friend with a secret life in her hay loft where she artificially inseminates chickens and keeps pets that her …

What are we marching for?

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I’m planning to dress as a vegetable and walk through my town in a few weeks.I’m pretty sure that at least a few people will join me. If so, it will be an actual parade. If not, I’ll be one more harmless weirdo walking around the planet. While the country is swept up in a whirlwind of marching for important reasons, this parade doesn’t have an obvious cause.It’s simply a surprise party for the vegetables, to welcome them back for another growing season. Our area grows abundant produce.But it’s also known for dropping pianos from the sky, a quirky bit of history that we are inordinately proud of. As one of my friends says, “another week, another god damn piano drop.” The first piano drop was on April 28, 1968, when onlookers in Duvall wondered not “what is the sound of one hand clapping,” but rather, sought to answer the LSD-inspired koan: what is the sound of one piano from helicopter? Live music was performed by Country Joe and the Fish, a year before they played at the somewhat more fa…

Khortneeeeee3 got a letter!!

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Dear Khortne3, 


Recently, a transgender friend of mine posted a 'go-fund-me' style blog on facebook asking for family and friends to send him money ($2000) in order for him to continue his transition into becoming a man. I support my friend in their operation, but I also know that they live in Los Angeles, drive an expensive car, and plan to attend college in the upcoming seasons. I liked their page, but did not contribute financially. A week later I received a message that started off chatty, but quickly got down to the point: can you send money to my cause? 
Though I understand the position they are in must be emotionally taxing, I too have medical bills to pay and expensive future plans that I'm saving for. Am I being selfish for not wanting to send $5 to my friend's Venmo account? Or is my friend's ask inappropriate when it seems like something he could pay for by himself in a short period of time with some planning?
My last questions is this: either way should…

Carry on, my friends.

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Somehow, we need to carry on.We need to live our lives, show up to our jobs and our friends and loved ones.Do chores, teach our children right from wrong, and work to care for our little corner of the world.
It feels impossible.Each day, for months now, a new outrage.Trump boasting that he grabs women by the pussy.Mocking a man with a disability.Planning to take his first weekend in office off.Loading the government with old white businessmen.And on and on.You know all of it.We sit here and love this country, love what we want it to stand for: the land of the free, the home of the brave.Lifting our lamp for the oppressed.And being smacked in the face with the reality that it never really was that.The dark seed of hatred toward people of color, people with different sexual orientations, people without a penis, has blossomed into a terrible, intolerable fruit.
But we believed.We believed, as Dr. King said, that “the arc of history bends towards justice.”We believed that our imperfect gov…

It's weird out.

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Today is my one day a week working for The Man, so I drove a county truck around in the pouring rain.   I forgot my boots, and the truck had squeaky brakes that didn't seem reliable, but I got to the site and climbed the fence and started walking around.  The weather was so dramatic and blustery that I suddenly felt glad for it.  It was raining hard and I imagined I was in the wizard of oz. Everything looked magical and scary at the same time.

It was a huge site, so I drove to the other end where there was a small, sketchy driving bridge across a stream.  The water was coming up so fast that I got out of the truck and walked to the middle of the bridge to watch it.

I must have looked kind of official, like perhaps I was inspecting the bridge and deciding whether to close it, but in fact, I was just being a tourist.  A lady drove up in a big SUV and rolled down her window and started ranting.  I want to say she looked like a republican, but that would be profiling, so I won't…

Dreams for the New Year

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Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):  Do you suppose that dreams try to interpret the humans?  Like, the dreams  hang out together during the day, saying, "wow, I had the weirdest human last night..."  Pisces, don't be that guy.  Be the best human, the ones the dreams long for.  Be the flying, if you know what I mean.

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  Perhaps I've been thinking about dreams a lot because I sleep so much.  I kind of want a fit bit, not to track the 10,000 steps, but for the sleep thing.  I think we split off from the bears evolutionarily about 125 million years ago, but the deep instinct to hibernate remains in our cellular memory.  Embrace your inner ursine, Aries.  Take a nap!

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  The other thing I've been wondering about is this:  where do dreams go if there aren't enough people sleeping?  Is dream unemployment high when everyone's all crazy, "I only need 3 hours of sleep a night!"  I think about that each morning, because lately, I dre…