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Horoscopes: The Thoughts and Prayers edition

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Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): Sometimes when I don't know what to write about, I think back and try to visualize what the pie chart of my thoughts for the last 24 hours would look like.  Many days, it involves bacon, which is kind of weird and possibly a little bit creepy.  But I also think a lot about how the world seems to be going to hell in a bucket and what can I, as one tiny little human, do about it.  Then I get all tired out and think about bacon again --actual and metaphorical.  But let's try the usual things, Pisces: be kind, show up, create. Remember that everyone is struggling in The Big Dark, and there's no harm in holding hands or holding up a light. 

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  Last week I got coffee somewhere and the barista asked my name.  I told her, and she was all, "OMG, I love that name!"  Which sounds fake, because it's sort of a dumb name, and I figured she said that to everyone.  If part of your job is to ask people their name all day, it's nice …

Emergency?

In which we learn the many uses for maxi pads, and that Reyna isn't planning to share her food bucket during the apocalypse
trying something new...

I was reading a book about chickens...

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I'm trying something new, podcasting.  My yoga teacher, Sara, said it's okay if I try out a new hobby, so it's not like I didn't get permission.  There's a lot to learn which is super fun, but bear with me on the audio quality and mistakes.  Thanks for listening!

Episode 1...

Horoscopes from the Afterlife

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Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): The sky this summer was yellow, ash-filled, irritable; the world created a new palette: red at night, yellow in the morning, gray in the middle.  It's been strangely dry, electric, apocalyptic.  One bad thought could ignite the entire planet.  Use caution, Pisces.  Keep a cool head and a warm heart.  

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  My dad used to always say, "Live each day as if it were your last."  I think a bunch of other people said it too, but he's the one I heard say it the most.  He didn't mean it in a hedonistic, spend all your money now way, but more in a, 'mend fences, use your time well' sort of way.  I've taken to thinking, "Live each day as if yesterday were your last."  Because if last week was the apocalypse (fires, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, North Korea), this is the post-apocalyptic after life.  It turns out, Aries, that the after-life is pretty good!  Our friends and dogs are here, and we still have IPA and…

The Eclipse

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We love our moon so much.It’s not that we don’t love the sun, but the sun is foreign, powerful, bright in ways we don’t understand.We can’t even look at her without special glasses. The moon, she’s one of us.The sun keeps us alive, but the moon is where magic lives.She was forcibly blasted from the earth 4.5 billion years ago, and like some poor orphan sister, she didn’t get all the stuff she needed.The things that make the earth so cozy for us:an atmosphere, water, air, gravity, plants that photosynthesize, IPA, coffee, the Internet, dogs – the moon doesn’t have any of that stuff.
But she follows us around like a puppy, endlessly circling, going nowhere.We ignore her during the day, and wonder whether it will be sunny or not.We don’t ask whether it will be a moony night.But when the tide is low, the babies are born, and the dogs howl, we remember that she’s out there, with her ghostly, invisible hand in our lives.
Earthlings visited her once and left a flag; I’m not sure why.Not that …

We shall not be moved

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When Obama was president, I had the luxury (and the good spirits) to have a funny blog.I wrote about the quirky people and circumstances that cross my path, and all was light and fun.It’s not funny around here anymore.We’ve been hiding out in our basements, waiting to see if North Korea is going to call 45’s bluff, because we’re in nuclear warhead distance, as it were, of N. Korea.  They talk on the radio about what to do.  (Note:  Eclipse glasses won't do a bit of good in the nuclear bomb situation.)  We don’t even have basements here.So we have been lying around in our crawl spaces with the rodents.And, until a few days ago, the skies were dark with soot and smog from the fires in Canada -- a preview of what’s to come if we don’t start taking climate change seriously.(I wanted to say that with more emphasis, like, “Dead-ass seriously” but that didn’t sound quite right.)And, it's been unbearably hot, like in the 90’s.  No rain for months.  We were already at that, “fine, Nort…

Horoscopes. The "Things We Never Tire Of" Edition

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Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): A friend told me that she never gets tired of people toggling blue ribbons on dowels to give the impression of water.  At first I thought it was ridiculous.  But then I remembered that I never get tired of it either.  I will never be heard saying, "whoa, I'm so damn tired of people waving the blue ribbons on dowels -- when will it stop?"  Pisces, you water-y sign, conjure water in whatever ways you can.  And never tire of water.  It's all we've got.

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):   I never tire of popcorn, Aries, and I hope you don't either.  I wish it were considered real food instead of merely a movie snack.  It magically transforms from a hard yellow kernel to a white piece of fluff, which is what I hope will happen to me one day.  Then there's taste, salt, texture, and handy size.  When I was in college I had a friend who used popcorn as a litmus test for friendship.  "She's okay, but I wouldn't have her over for popcorn."…