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Horoscopes from the Afterlife

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Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): The sky this summer was yellow, ash-filled, irritable; the world created a new palette: red at night, yellow in the morning, gray in the middle.  It's been strangely dry, electric, apocalyptic.  One bad thought could ignite the entire planet.  Use caution, Pisces.  Keep a cool head and a warm heart.  

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  My dad used to always say, "Live each day as if it were your last."  I think a bunch of other people said it too, but he's the one I heard say it the most.  He didn't mean it in a hedonistic, spend all your money now way, but more in a, 'mend fences, use your time well' sort of way.  I've taken to thinking, "Live each day as if yesterday were your last."  Because if last week was the apocalypse (fires, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, North Korea), this is the post-apocalyptic after life.  It turns out, Aries, that the after-life is pretty good!  Our friends and dogs are here, and we still have IPA and…

The Eclipse

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We love our moon so much.It’s not that we don’t love the sun, but the sun is foreign, powerful, bright in ways we don’t understand.We can’t even look at her without special glasses. The moon, she’s one of us.The sun keeps us alive, but the moon is where magic lives.She was forcibly blasted from the earth 4.5 billion years ago, and like some poor orphan sister, she didn’t get all the stuff she needed.The things that make the earth so cozy for us:an atmosphere, water, air, gravity, plants that photosynthesize, IPA, coffee, the Internet, dogs – the moon doesn’t have any of that stuff.
But she follows us around like a puppy, endlessly circling, going nowhere.We ignore her during the day, and wonder whether it will be sunny or not.We don’t ask whether it will be a moony night.But when the tide is low, the babies are born, and the dogs howl, we remember that she’s out there, with her ghostly, invisible hand in our lives.
Earthlings visited her once and left a flag; I’m not sure why.Not that …

We shall not be moved

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When Obama was president, I had the luxury (and the good spirits) to have a funny blog.I wrote about the quirky people and circumstances that cross my path, and all was light and fun.It’s not funny around here anymore.We’ve been hiding out in our basements, waiting to see if North Korea is going to call 45’s bluff, because we’re in nuclear warhead distance, as it were, of N. Korea.  They talk on the radio about what to do.  (Note:  Eclipse glasses won't do a bit of good in the nuclear bomb situation.)  We don’t even have basements here.So we have been lying around in our crawl spaces with the rodents.And, until a few days ago, the skies were dark with soot and smog from the fires in Canada -- a preview of what’s to come if we don’t start taking climate change seriously.(I wanted to say that with more emphasis, like, “Dead-ass seriously” but that didn’t sound quite right.)And, it's been unbearably hot, like in the 90’s.  No rain for months.  We were already at that, “fine, Nort…

Horoscopes. The "Things We Never Tire Of" Edition

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Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): A friend told me that she never gets tired of people toggling blue ribbons on dowels to give the impression of water.  At first I thought it was ridiculous.  But then I remembered that I never get tired of it either.  I will never be heard saying, "whoa, I'm so damn tired of people waving the blue ribbons on dowels -- when will it stop?"  Pisces, you water-y sign, conjure water in whatever ways you can.  And never tire of water.  It's all we've got.

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):   I never tire of popcorn, Aries, and I hope you don't either.  I wish it were considered real food instead of merely a movie snack.  It magically transforms from a hard yellow kernel to a white piece of fluff, which is what I hope will happen to me one day.  Then there's taste, salt, texture, and handy size.  When I was in college I had a friend who used popcorn as a litmus test for friendship.  "She's okay, but I wouldn't have her over for popcorn."…

What now?

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We watch, experiencing various states of dismay, anger, outrage, overwhelm, and discouragement as the president flagrantly contradicts himself, acts poorly, works to dismantle regulations that protect the downtrodden, the planet, and the children, has cozied up with a hostile foreign power, is cavalier about war, and is stunningly ill-informed about the world.
I’ve been thinking a lot about lately the broiling anger that I see toward people who voted for Trump.I completely understand it, but I also think its the worst thing we can do right now.
I truly believe that most Trump supporters love their children, they want bright futures for themselves and their families, they expect drinkable water from their tap, they’d like to catch a fish or see a bird once in a while -- they don’t want all the other species to die.They hope that their grandchildren will be able to laugh and play and marvel at a magical moonrise, a lush tide pool, or a piece of art that makes them choke up with emotion.T…

20 Things I'm Afraid Of. Ok, 21, for good measure.

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I listened to the rerun of a This American Life episode where the guy listed all his fears.  I thought it was a good prompt.
1.I’m afraid my children will die before I do.  

2.I’m afraid of turbulence on an airplane.  I fear that each buffeting downdraft will continue forever until we crash into the earth.
3.I’m afraid of Lunchables.
4.I’m afraid of dying in a way that involves gasping for breath.
5.I’m afraid of being trapped in a boring conversation.
6.I’m afraid of Target (the store).
7.I’m afraid of talking on the phone.
8.I’m afraid of being trapped in the middle seat on an airplane when I have to go to the bathroom.
9.I’m afraid of being boring.  Of being the person people are trying to get away from because I’m telling a long story about my dog or the King County zoning code.
10.I’m afraid of getting to a point in my life where it doesn’t matter what’s going on with the weather.

11.I’m afraid of fancy shoes, especially if they are pointy.
12.I’m afraid of a cervical spine injury that leave…