We shall not be moved

When Obama was president, I had the luxury (and the good spirits) to have a funny blog.I wrote about the quirky people and circumstances that cross my path, and all was light and fun.It’s not funny around here anymore.We’ve been hiding out in our basements, waiting to see if North Korea is going to call 45’s bluff, because we’re in nuclear warhead distance, as it were, of N. Korea.  They talk on the radio about what to do.  (Note:  Eclipse glasses won't do a bit of good in the nuclear bomb situation.)  We don’t even have basements here.So we have been lying around in our crawl spaces with the rodents.And, until a few days ago, the skies were dark with soot and smog from the fires in Canada -- a preview of what’s to come if we don’t start taking climate change seriously.(I wanted to say that with more emphasis, like, “Dead-ass seriously” but that didn’t sound quite right.)And, it's been unbearably hot, like in the 90’s.  No rain for months.  We were already at that, “fine, Nort…

Horoscopes. The "Things We Never Tire Of" Edition

Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): A friend told me that she never gets tired of people toggling blue ribbons on dowels to give the impression of water.  At first I thought it was ridiculous.  But then I remembered that I never get tired of it either.  I will never be heard saying, "whoa, I'm so damn tired of people waving the blue ribbons on dowels -- when will it stop?"  Pisces, you water-y sign, conjure water in whatever ways you can.  And never tire of water.  It's all we've got.

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):   I never tire of popcorn, Aries, and I hope you don't either.  I wish it were considered real food instead of merely a movie snack.  It magically transforms from a hard yellow kernel to a white piece of fluff, which is what I hope will happen to me one day.  Then there's taste, salt, texture, and handy size.  When I was in college I had a friend who used popcorn as a litmus test for friendship.  "She's okay, but I wouldn't have her over for popcorn."…

What now?

We watch, experiencing various states of dismay, anger, outrage, overwhelm, and discouragement as the president flagrantly contradicts himself, acts poorly, works to dismantle regulations that protect the downtrodden, the planet, and the children, has cozied up with a hostile foreign power, is cavalier about war, and is stunningly ill-informed about the world.
I’ve been thinking a lot about lately the broiling anger that I see toward people who voted for Trump.I completely understand it, but I also think its the worst thing we can do right now.
I truly believe that most Trump supporters love their children, they want bright futures for themselves and their families, they expect drinkable water from their tap, they’d like to catch a fish or see a bird once in a while -- they don’t want all the other species to die.They hope that their grandchildren will be able to laugh and play and marvel at a magical moonrise, a lush tide pool, or a piece of art that makes them choke up with emotion.T…

20 Things I'm Afraid Of. Ok, 21, for good measure.

I listened to the rerun of a This American Life episode where the guy listed all his fears.  I thought it was a good prompt.
1.I’m afraid my children will die before I do.  

2.I’m afraid of turbulence on an airplane.  I fear that each buffeting downdraft will continue forever until we crash into the earth.
3.I’m afraid of Lunchables.
4.I’m afraid of dying in a way that involves gasping for breath.
5.I’m afraid of being trapped in a boring conversation.
6.I’m afraid of Target (the store).
7.I’m afraid of talking on the phone.
8.I’m afraid of being trapped in the middle seat on an airplane when I have to go to the bathroom.
9.I’m afraid of being boring.  Of being the person people are trying to get away from because I’m telling a long story about my dog or the King County zoning code.
10.I’m afraid of getting to a point in my life where it doesn’t matter what’s going on with the weather.

11.I’m afraid of fancy shoes, especially if they are pointy.
12.I’m afraid of a cervical spine injury that leave…

The Future! (And maybe even the past...)

Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):  The reason I hardly write, or go to yoga, or go to the coffee shop anymore is because of my dog.  I'm so in love with her that it's embarrassing.  I'm in a serious, monogamous relationship with her that takes up much of my time, and my micro-
adventures are unremarkable to anyone who doesn't love my dog.  But here's something that happened a few weeks ago.  I went to the dog park in Carnation, which is kind of hilarious because no dogs are ever there.  It's eight acres of fenced grass, but it seems like 100 acres because it's so vast and empty, much like the political landscape.  But one day I went, and there was another dog there!  So the dogs played and I talked to the owner, who seemed like her natural habitat was a bar stool and her beverage of choice was whisky.  

I asked her what kind of dog it was -- pure lab, or something else?  And she said, "well, if you look at the pants on him, there's more feathers than on your dog…


I think I'll take up the investigation myself.  My qualifications:

1.  I have a very curious and mildly ferocious dog.  She would definitely be up for an investigation.  In fact, she's hoping for one.  As an example, I woke up at 5:30 the other morning thinking about this half-dead frog, and how it was probably dead, and I should go find it and get the skeleton.  Who was totally game and bounded outside with me?  Yes, Jasmine the dog.  That's the kind of spirit we need on this investigation.  And you can see how aggressive she is.

2.  I have an abundance of corn starch in my cupboard, left over from having little kids who made potions.  (Now they are adults and they make their potions elsewhere.)  Cornstarch, of course, will be used to dust for fingerprints.

3.  I own a magnifying glass, thousands of honeybees (which may become useful for smuggling information), and a nice little GPS unit.

4.  I'm not connected with any of the people involved, which may seem like a bad…

The dog, the bees, the planets

Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):  Well, we've had a parade since I last posted, and it was super fun and I'd highly recommend it if you're down in the dumps about Trump and John B Macklemore and climate change and all the rest of it. There's no downside to walking around with the other townsfolk as a vegetable.  Have a look at some pictures.  And meanwhile, Pisces, be a vegetable next year!  

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  I have the rodent problem in my house again, which means that I lie awake quite a bit while the rodents move their furniture around in the attic, directly over my bed.  I think about Hanta virus quite a bit, and wonder if it's a terrible way to go, or just regular.  Aries, my attic, along with the rest of the country, has been going to hell in a bucket.  RESIST.  Be part of the "Not-going-to-hell-in-a-bucket" crowd.  

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  I have a friend with a secret life in her hay loft where she artificially inseminates chickens and keeps pets that her …