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Part 3 of 3

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In which I review a few things, and call them horoscopes.


Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21): Oxytocin.  This is the hormone that's released during sex and breastfeeding that promotes bonding and feelings of well-being.  Here's something:  rats that have never had babies eat baby rats whenever they get a chance (the way you do), but after being injected with Oxytocin, they tend to and protect young, even if they aren't related.   The oxytocin effect of caring for young lasts for their whole lives -- once that form of generosity is activated, it never goes away. Shysters purchase oxytocin spray on the internet and spray it in the air when they want to close a deal.  Can you even believe that?  Now you know how Einstein felt about the a-bomb.  But maybe, just maybe, there is some backwash with the spray, and everyone gets a douse of good will and generosity and the instinct to protect and defend the vulnerable.  Maybe goodness actually wins, and can't be misused by hucksters.  …

Review Horoscopes, Part 2 of 3, or maybe of 4.

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Here we go, part 2 of 3 part horoscopes, in which I review Inflammation, the Erie Canal, and a few other things.

Leo (7/23 – 8/22): Inflammation.  Did we even have that when we were kids?  Nope.  Well, we had the kind where you got stung by a wasp and your leg swelled up, but not this secret killer inflammation where you're just sitting around thinking, jeez, is it really so wrong to have a brownie and a beer for dinner?  And then you remember about inflammation.  The silent killer turns out to be not a high fat diet, but rather  inflammation, whatever the fuck that is.  Like, there's inflammation going on in your blood stream?  Doesn't that sound phony?  This new secret inflammation that wreaks havoc and you don't even know it but pretty much everything you really enjoy except yoga and walks in the woods cause it.  I'll give inflammation one star.  Because we are not for silent killers?  Or loud killers either.  Leo, I don't know what to tell you.  I guess do t…

Review Horoscopes, Part 1 of 3

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Partial Horoscopes: The Review Edition



I have a new favorite podcast, The Anthropocene Reviewed.  It's beautiful writing and brilliant ideas and exactly what I want.  So I thought I'd try reviewing a few things myself.  And I've split the horoscopes into three parts, due to the increasingly short attention spans on the planet.  Stay tuned Leo and so on...


Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  Toothpaste.  Toothpaste is pretty variable.  My current favorite is Uncle Harry's, because it comes in a little jar, no pesky tube and is a little salty, but it's not available everywhere so I suffer.  The first mass produced toothpaste arrived in a jar 1873, but tubes came out a few years later, and have stuck. The problem with tubes:  1.  if you squeeze out too much, there's no going back, and 2.  if you leave the cap off, which I often do because jeez, who's got time?  I have the internet to surf, people to stalk, solitaire to play!  I can't be bothered with putting the cap back …

Watching the world go by

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Horoscopes a la Pliny the Elder

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I’m reading excerpts from Pliny the Elder’s encyclopedia.That guy!He wrote a 37 volume encyclopedia of everything, from his head. His actual head.Chapters on all aspects of the universe, natural world, magic, medicine, and mining.An enormous, opinionated compendium of all that he knew.He lived from 23 – 79, back when the years only had two digits.  He wrote this all without going to the internet or even the library.It’s lovely and awkward and inappropriately decisive.About trees:
“The treasures within the earth were long hidden, and trees and forests thought of as her ultimate gift to mankind.From trees first came food, and their leaves made mens caves more comfortable; their bark provided man with clothes.Even in our day and age, some primitive races live in this manner.”
Or this, about portraiture:
“Portraiture, the medium by which exact likenesses of people were handed down through the ages, is completely out of fashion.Bronze shields are set up as monuments; they bear a design in sil…

The World, The Whales, the Blood Red Sun Horoscopes

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Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  That poor Orca mama, carrying her dead baby for all those days.  Aries, the saddest thing ever is raw grief, the feeling that we usually work hard to dilute and gloss over in all the ways we can.  We have the capacity to love with all our being and then the inevitable losing.   And there's that whale, carrying that baby day after day, reminding each one of us of the state of our own hearts.  Let the tears flow, Aries.  Its gonna be okay.
Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  There is a new-ish low-powered FM radio station in the area, and it has about 12 listeners because did I say low-power?  The reception is spotty which adds to the charm.  They have messages from the senior center, and notices about bridge closures, and lots of good music.  On Sunday morning, a local Buddhist has a show about mindfulness, and two men in the maximum security prison 10 miles away like to listen.  But because of the poor reception, they have to contort themselves and hold on to each other to…