Upleveling Our Badassery

Twelve years ago, when Bush was re-elected, I felt sad.  The nation seemed to have nonchalantly accepted being at war.  We knew by then that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, the war that was killing and maiming so many was based on misinformation at best, and as a nation, we didn’t seem to care.  

My then teen-aged daughter fell into a depressive slump, and stopped wearing shoes as a way to denounce the way things were going.  I was disappointed by the election, but not devastated.  Four more years.  We knew what we were in for, and though I was deeply disturbed, I wasn’t terrified.   We would plod through.

Here we are in 2016, and it’s a whole new ballgame.  We watch, breath held, as the man who believes it’s okay to grab women by the genitals, spew hateful rhetoric against entire countries and religions, and seems unable to focus for more than a few minutes at a time, begins to take charge.  I, like many of you, feel terrified and sickened.  If it weren’t so disgusting, it would be kind of hilarious.  The appointments to top-level posts somehow vaguely remind me of the “Home Alone” movie series.  People who shouldn’t be left home alone with matches are now running with scissors.

In 2004, my concerns became largely personal – the national events triggered despair that my daughter felt, but my focus was directed toward personal despondency of a loved one.  I did what I could, and wrote about it here.

Maybe because of that experience, I feel convinced that despair is our biggest enemy right now.  Yes, it’s rational to feel hopeless.  But it’s also reasonable to feel great hope.

The abyss is there, and it’s real.  But standing at the edge, staring down into it won’t help.  We need to remain aware of, and motivated by, the serious situation we’re in without succumbing to the desire to curl up in the fetal position with a pillow over our head.  

I’ve long had a wish that people’s emotional size would match their physical size.  In my imaginary world, The Little People, who currently inhabit normal or even larger than normal bodies, would be physically tiny.  They’d slip into cracks in the sidewalk or down the shower drain. The rest of us would gently rescue them from the heat vent or wherever, and carefully place them into a little diorama filled with miniature furniture and trees, tiny food bits, toothbrushes, and even dental floss.  There, they would live their tiny lives together, safely ensconced in a diminutive world, leaving the rest of us to do the work of this world: to approach life with hope and sincerity, and to strive toward lives of integrity where all people are treated with respect and dignity.   

Lately, I’ve decided to live as if that is what’s happening, because in a weird metaphorical universe that parallels our own, it is true.  The angry haters aren’t happy; they are shooting their tiny pea-shooters from the miniature world to get attention from the Big People.  They seek happiness by brandishing fear and anger, and it’s our job to go deep into our compassionate selves, and see it for what it is.  Misery is something to be sad about, not something to fear.  Donald Trump is a lonely, fearful, insecure man, a man to be pitied.  He and his followers are not happy people.  Love IS bigger than hate.  Kindness IS more compelling than rudeness and insolence.  Living a life of meaning is worth it.  Let the metaphor of the diorama for the haters come to life for all of us.  Let us live lives of goodness, standing up for oppressed, doing what’s right, thinking hard about problems and trying to solve them.  

But the first order of business is to do whatever it takes to not fall into despair.  You know what works for you.   Take a walk, do yoga, hang out with your peeps.  Some of us can only take tiny sips of the situation without  becoming struck down with grief, while others have the fortitude to track the details and remain informed.  Limit your input to a sustainable level.  When you feel the pull of the abyss, link arms with someone.  Give the abyss a cheery wave and keep working.

It’s easy to look around and find legitimate reasons to despair.  But despair never got us where we want to go.  We need to do whatever it takes so that we can get up each day and give it our best shot.  Find things to celebrate.  Take care of one another.  Summon generosity for the Little People, and don’t jump into their sorry diorama.  

And most of all, we need to up-level our game.  Now is the time to bring our very best selves forward.  We don’t have time to wonder if our pants are cute, or if the gray hair is showing through.  We don’t have time to hang out in relationships that aren’t healthy, or to get caught up in distracting micro-dramas.  This is the moment to shiny-up our talents and show-the-fuck-up.  

As Hannah Senesh said, “There are stars whose radiance is visible on Earth though they have long been extinct. There are people whose brilliance continues to light the world even though they are no longer among the living. These lights are particularly bright when the night is dark. They light the way for humankind.” 

Be brighter than you ever thought you could be.  The world needs us.  


Comments

  1. Replies
    1. Aww, thanks! To one of my favorite bad-asses! xoxox

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  2. Good advice, Betsy. I think a lot of what Trump said was campaign rhetoric - he has already backed away from many of the extreme things he said. Yes, it will be a conservative government for four years. And it will not be a very refined one. But somebody has to figure out what half of the voters were really saying. Somebody includes us.

    I realize I'm not in the USA but this can happen anywhere that there are a lot of people without jobs who are getting fed up and see no end in sight. Those people were the ones who tipped the scales in favour of change at any cost. My two cents, anyway :)

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I hear what you're saying. Enjoy Canada and your awesome government!

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    2. Our awesome government, as you call it, can be just as blind as any elsewhere. It's starting to show, in fact. After Brexit and the American election, we are getting cautious here, too.

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  3. Such a profound post. I'm sharing!

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  4. Excellent advice!! I vow to never be caught up in any sorry dioramas, but it will be hard work. Thanks!
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! The sorry dioramas are so compelling sometimes... Enjoy the season!

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  5. Betsy, what a beautiful post. It made me get a little teary. You are too wise and kind for this world, and I'm so glad you are in it, sharing your words and light with us. I will need to come back and visit this post to help me stay sane in this new world order. I keep overdosing on details and I need to link arms and step away from the abyss for a little bit and keep showing the fuck up. Thanks for the reminder and the perspective. xxoo

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    1. You're too generous! But thank you. Yes, don't OD on details! The abyss can wait. :-) Happy thanksgiving. xoxox

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  6. Despair is an emotion that helps you cope but doesn't accomplish much. I have changed my donations to organization like the Southern Poverty Law Center and a few small freedom of the press organizations. I think we will solve this with actual law enforcement. Protests let off steam and if enough of a crowd(s) then they can see they are in the minority, but I am all for lawyers working on this and local people working local politics...through such things as League of Women Voters.

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  7. Well said! Those of us who can will fight the good fight, preferably with non-violence, because we are not okay with legitimizing those who have risen to power. Resistance is not futile. Up-leveling is what we will do.

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    1. Hi Jono, Yes, how to fight the good fight without stooping to a lower level. That's the goal. We can do it!

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  8. i hope we can do what you recommend without giving up. Four years is a long time to deal with insanity, and as well as considering Trump egotistical, bigoted, misogynist, etc., I kind of think he's insane. I don't know what will happen with the recounts, but we could only hope they change the outcome. Seems unlikely though...

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  9. Brilliant. Wise thoughts indeed Betsy.

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  10. Betsy--- I needed to hear those words big time today.. Thanks!

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  11. I love your emotional intelligence size correlation. Fits Trump perfectly. I've thought almost everything he does is for attention or to get a reaction. If people would react less, ignore more, go on about our business and the business of the world, he might realize the smirks, snide comments, inflammatory appointments, won't ruffle us. When he is ready to be part of society, we'll let him join us again.

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  12. Word! Well said, Betsy dear. Small sips is all I can do. The rest of the time, I'm spreading the love far and wide. It's what I got.

    XXX Beth

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