Saturday, October 17, 2015

Microscopes, Horoscopes, and All The Rest

Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):  Go watch this documentary, Pisces.  (Or, listen to the podcast.) It's about a guy who, after a head injury, creates a whole miniature WWII town in his backyard, and makes complicated stories out of barbies and his alter-ego doll.  It's like Lars and the Real Girl, but sadder, sweeter, more heartbreaking.  At first I was amused because it seems a bit crazy drag barbies around in a toy jeep to scuff up the tires.  But by the end, I felt different, maybe a bit teary.  It was so poignant -- a man creating friends and an engaged life out of plastic barbies to alleviate his loneliness.  I think we all do that a little bit, don't we?  

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  I've been feeling the need to make miniature fire pits that I can carry with me and give away.  I'm not sure why but I'm fairly obsessed with it at the moment.  

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  What if you got dolphins, instead of endorphins from exercise.  Right?  Now that, my friends, would eliminate obesity.  Spinning with the dolphins?  Isn't that what we all want, from the very deepest soul of our being?  Do you think the tv show "Flipper" changed us all?  How about Mr. Ed?  I have kind of a giant crush on Mr. Ed, truth be told.

Gemini (5/21 - 6/21):  There are people who act as reference points in our lives -- the ones we consider before we act, the ones we want to tell stuff to, the ones who's opinions we care about.  In short, the people who matter.  Love those people well, even if you never see them, they die, they disappear from view or your life.

Cancer (6/22 – 7/21):  Here's an ethics question, Cancer.  If you are tasked with babysitting someone's sourdough starter, and it's been in their family for generations.  Like, maybe it was on the Mayflower, or in the goldrush, and under your jurisdiction it dies.  Maybe it's not your fault.  The starter could have just been in a down phase, like, "what's the point?"  Or maybe there was some malpractice; it's a bit unclear.  Anyway, the question, Cancer, is:  should you go get more starter somewhere and say nothing, the way people do when they pet sit a turtle that dies?  Or, do you fess up?  

Leo (7/23 – 8/22)I listened to a podcast created by a home organizer in Cincinnati, and my immediate thought was "thank god that's not my life."  House organizer, Cincinnati -- the whole thing sounds dismal and makes my life seem pretty damn good because at least it's near mountains and the ocean.


Virgo (8/23 – 9/22):  I saw this cool underground yellow jacket nest yesterday.  I don't know if it's as amazing on a tiny video, but somehow, there was a big hole in a lawn, and the wasps moved in.  So many questions!  Why underground in a wetland, yellow jackets?  Wouldn't you rather be in a tree?  Virgo, don't go underground, whatever you do.  Stay up here with us!


Libra (9/23 – 10/22):  I had a chance to do an invertebrate identification class last week, and it was so fun that I've been longing for a microscope and a light trap.  I just want to study something, anything.  I'm not sure what it is, but I think its an urgency about how quickly the climate and the planet is changing, and I want to document something right now. It might be useful.  

Scorpio (10/23 – 11/21):  Speaking of podcasts that you should listen to, do it!  Ok, but here's the other thing I want to talk to you about, Scorp.  Anyway, when I get rich, which isn't very likely given that I don't work very hard, there will be a round of microscopes for all my loved ones.

Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21) I listened to a podcast created by a home organizer in Cincinnati, and my immediate thought was thank god that's not my life.  House organizer, Cincinnati -- the whole thing sounds dismal and makes my life seem pretty damn good because at least it's near mountains and the ocean.  But she's so encouraging, and she doesn't seem to judge.  Just take it one step at a time, she says.  She has no idea what we're dealing with, though.  





Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19):  I keep thinking about her, my encouraging, tidy, Cincinnati guide.  I looked up Cincinatti on Google Earth, and wonder which side of the Ohio River she lives on.  Probably the north, because it looks like that's where the people mostly live. Is it flat?  How often does the river flood?  Do they have good wetland regulations there?  (Um, it doesn't look like they have any.  Gulp.)  And so on.  And this, my friends, is why she's a home organizer and I'm not.  I spend my time on random stuff and she has a plan and sticks to it.  Here's the thing, Cap:  I found myself buffing my flat stovetop range with a product that I acquired in 2003, and suddenly felt so vacant and unimportant doing that task that I almost stuck my head right in the oven, the way Sylvia did.  Alas, it's electric, so no worries.

Aquarius (1/20 – 2/18):  But she told me one thing in Step 1 of house organizing, and I did that and it lasted for a second.  Step 1 is to put all the loose papers into a basket.  Every single paper.  I did that, and then more papers came, and then I misplaced the box for a few days.


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16 comments:

  1. Thank you for Gemini's horoscope today. :) And now you've also got me thinking about Cincinnati and Postcards from the Edge.

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  2. Mr. Ed creeped me right out. As did Wilbur. And where did Mr. Ed graze? Are we to believe that he only ate oats in the weird suburban barn?
    I worried. Of course it turns out that we should have been worrying a lot more about Flipper.

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    1. Poor flipper. I think Ed just ate oats. Did he ever go outside? I feel like I don't really remember what that show was about; I might need to go watch a few episodes...

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  3. Cancer's horoscope speaks to me today.

    Sourbread starter that dies? Well, if these people frequently have other people babysitting their starter, I'm thinking you wouldn't be the first person to have this problem. In which case, tell them; you'll be doing the next sitter a favour.

    If you were the first and only sitter, or if this is just a portion of the dough and they have the original, just get a new turtle and try not to worry about it.

    Next problem?

    Have a good week, Bets :)

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    1. Yes, what happened to attachment sourdoughing? But really, that was a made-up scenario. I just wondered about it, whether it was right or wrong to replace. You too, have a good week!

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  4. P. S. And by turtle, I meant "turtle"

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  5. Unfortunately I am one of those on the other side of the river. I really like it when I am organized, but it is a bubble that cannot be maintained for long.

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    1. Yeah. I know that problem. Organization is a fleeting state.

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  6. Of course I love your horoscopes! And I'm pretty sure I'm already joined up somewhere because I get an email when you post.
    I'm an intermittent organizer. Works for me. I can be lazy when I feel like it.

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    1. Thank you! And yes, organizing takes so much time! I can be organized when I feel like it.

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  7. I am a Leo, but not an organized one. Had I been organized I might have ruled more than my immediate space. That's life.

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  8. Your house seems like a craft festival for k-7 kids (in the best way possible). Theres like 5 different stations where the kids can learn all about how to turn wool into string, how to use it once its string, how to fold oragami, etc. I'm just surprised you didn't have that moment where you say "But I've already done that," and then reveal that you have a fresh sheet of brownies already in the oven.

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    1. :-) Does it look the tiniest bit like your childhood?

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  9. I think the yellow jackets are on to something, what with global warming and all. We might be headed for underground caves so I think we should pay attention. The YJ are leading the way and for that, I'm grateful even though their stings suck ass.

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