Who's got the bacon?

Besides the recycling bins, the other thing on my mind is Other Ways to Make Money.

Alas, I still need to bring home actual bacon for R., who would eat that stuff every day if he could.  

I started with the “do what you love and the money will follow” theory, so I made a list of what I love:

Chocolate cake.  Especially if it has many layers and one of them contains raspberry sauce.  Its hard to see where the money is here, but I guess I could start eating it more often and just see what happens.

Stories.  I love stories as much as I love my opposable thumb, particularly if they’re true, and even more so if I’m lying in bed and someone is telling the story to me, which is why I’m so grateful for all the excellent podcasts these days.  Again, it’s a little hard to see who would pay me for that though.    I think if there was money to be made here, I'd already be rich.  But if you see this ad, please contact me:

WANTED:  SOMEONE WHO WILL LAY AROUND AND LISTEN TO INTERESTING STORIES.  MUST PROVIDE OWN PILLOW AND BLANKET.

My list is much longer, but it seems like “do what you love and the money will follow” only works if what you love is investment banking, surgery, or inventing the iPod, so I decided I should generate a list of possible jobs that I wouldn't have to love, but maybe the job and I would like each other well enough to keep it going.  Here it is:

1. Dog walker.  This would be a chance to get outside, get exercise, and so on.  I do like dogs, but I’m not very excited about carrying the plastic bag and all that's involved there.  And, I’m afraid that the kind of dog who has to hire someone like me might not be in the best spirits.  I’m also not sure if dogs pay very well, and they would definitely want to keep the bacon for themselves.
2. Tarot card reader.  This seems hard because of all the cards.  But, all the job hunting gurus talk about "transferrable skills".  For example, maybe you've never cooked before, but you've been involved in the restaurant industry, and by that, you mean you eat lunch out every day because you're too lazy to make a sandwich.  I think I’ve built up skills in the astrology arena that could be used in developing a Tarot card reading resume.  I think those people are anti-bacon, though.
3. Dancing outside of a business dressed as a chicken or a cow.  I’d get to listen to my iPod all day and dance, so this might be worth looking into.  I may need help making a chicken costume though, if you aren't busy.  
4. Write sayings for bottle caps. The words on the inside of the bottle cap are so often disappointing that I believe there’s a need for this.  I almost gave up on the idea, because when it comes down to it, what would I write?  But I hang out with some very smart funny people, and decided I could just listen and steal little phrases.  So I went to a party the other night, and I wasn’t there for long before Dr. D. said, “And the magic takes over.”  Score.  Imagine if you got that message when you opened a beer!  So I found a napkin and a pencil and wrote it down.  (Sadly, no one seemed to think it was odd that I was taking notes on the napkin at the party.  I know.)  Someone else said something good, too, and I wrote it down on the napkin.  And then someone, and it could have been me, spilled beer on the table, and I used that very napkin to wipe it up, which was pretty sad.  All their ideas, soggy.  But everyone was kind enough to come up with a few more, which, if you promise not to steal these (again), I’ll share here:

"Huh?”

"That’s a little business in the front for me"

"She was clapping on the one and the three like white people do."

"Some like it luke warm"

And, my personal favorite:  "He was kind of aggressive and my parents didn’t like him, so we ate him."

Anyway, this is me networking.  Tomorrow, with any luck, we'll all learn one way or another if we have jobs.