First job effort

Dear Redhook,

I’ve been meaning to contact you about your bottle cap messages.  Thanks for doing that.  I know, the word, “but” doesn’t belong in a thank you or an apology, so without diminishing that genuine appreciation, could you make them a little more interesting?  

If you open an Inversion IPA, it says, “Bravely done.”  Now that’s a good message! The first time I got it, I was all, “Wow, I know!  That was brave, wasn’t it?” But then, I became disillusioned, getting the same message every single time. The bottle cap seemed to think that everyone else in the room was brave too.  It started to feel like the cap didn’t think I was special.  Redhook, it seemed disingenuous.  And no one wants to be sucked up to by a freakin’ bottle cap.

You guys, on the other hand, offer variety in your bottle cap messages, which is good.  But as a reader, and I say that because I’m a person who read other things besides your bottle caps – like tea bags, speed limit signs, and the New York Times, for example.  Oh, and this really long book called The Meaning of Night. Seriously, it is one long book. (This is the part of the letter, in case it’s escaped your notice, where I establish my credentials.) Anyway, I feel compelled to let you know that it’s very disappointing to just get that forecaster guy.  Or, for that matter, any silhouette.  We want words, Redhook.

I was at a party recently, opened an ESB, and got the silhouette of Washington State.  Here’s the thing: a few of us thought it was a trash can.  I know.  I’m not proud of that.  Other people knew instinctively that it was a state, but they just weren’t sure which one.  After way too long, we identified it as the state we all live in.  Make fun of us all you like, but hey, we’re your customers.  Write for your audience, they always say.

Which brings me to my point.  I think you may want to hire me to write bottle cap sayings. Here’s a free one, just so you can get as excited as I am about this project: 

"Let the magic begin"

Even if you don’t want to hire me in this capacity, please just put that on some ESB’s.  It would truly make the world a better place.  



  1. They should hire you. I would love to open a bottle (or anything) that told me to "let the magic begin".

    1. Thanks Delores! Next time you make a cup of tea or open a bottle, just write that on it. :-)

  2. I thought it was a trash can with something scary trying to escape from it when I first looked. Of course, if you had turned it 90° it would have looked more like WA state. All in the POV, eh?

  3. I thought it looked like a rat coming out of the trash can....until I realized it was WA state sitting on end.

    But still.....

    I totally think that they NEED you to do something creative. Or, how about writing stuff on corks in wine? I would really go for that, too!

    1. Yes! I thought that too, about something ad coming out of the trash can. Like Laurie, above.
      Now wine corks that's an unexplored area . . .

  4. At least if you get hit by the next round of layoffs, you can use "bottle cap message writer" to flesh out your resume!

    1. Yes, that's the plan. I got the layoff notice last week, now on to other things. . .


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