Showing posts from January, 2012

Text noir

Every so often I get a text message that makes me think I'm in a spy movie, and someone is trying to communicate something vital to me in a confusing, obscure way.  I feel like if I were only smarter, I'd know what to do.

Over the weekend, I got this text:
 "Thanks for making that meal when my baby was born [3 years ago].  I'm sure it was delicious."   Odd, right?  I could only assume that she was in peril, and if I could rearrange the letters quickly, or otherwise solve the puzzle, I could save her.  I spent a few minutes studying the text.  What meal did I make?  Spaghetti?  Is she stuck in the spaghetti factory?  Trouble with a spaghetti strap?  Why is she even wearing a spaghetti strap?  Is she at a club somewhere?  Oh wait, maybe I made lasagna.  Which, if you look at that word, kind of spells signal, if you squint or put on those drunk glasses that R. keeps around.  Or, worse, it spells strangle.

When I thought the strangle thing, I took off the drunk glasse…

Does everyone need a service dog, or do I have the creepy super power?

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I got a new hard hat recently, and wore it around my office all afternoon, and no one noticed.  This followed an afternoon when I walked around trying to balance a little squash on my head for quite a while, and no one noticed that either.  I'd put a link to the squash post too, but blogger doesn't seem to want to find it for me.

I’m one of those people who, when asked which super-power I’d prefer, first chooses invisibility, and then gets talked into selecting flying. But I’ll confess that I’m reluctant about switching.  I switch because it’s generally held that invisibility is a creepy superpower. I’d like to suggest that perhaps it’s the lazy power, or the private one. I don’t want to spy on people in the shower; I just want to go about my awkward life without being watched.

But back to the story.  I started to wonder if possibly, invisibility is my superpower.  Maybe I’m more than the person who can hold hot things.  (Which, if you need me …

Don't know much about photography...

But it's so lovely around here that I took a few pictures. We've gotten 9 inches of snow here over the past few days, and more expected tonight. I'm not used to this weird, hard to control blogger interface. Bear with me...

BIf I could insert a caption, I'd say that in this manly neighborhood, people just handle it if a tree falls on a powerline and starts a fire.  It's what we do.  Who needs the fire department?  If the video works, you can sort of tell that someone is spraying this live electric line with a hand-held fire extinguisher.  (I didn't say we're smart up here.  No, I did not.)


Aries (3/21 – 4/19):  The other day, my boss was supposed to be on vacation but instead, he was in his little box doing whatever he does, which, like many of our jobs, involves moving papers from one place to another and watching a computer monitor.  "Oh, I'm sorry you're here," I commented.  Because that's the thing to say, right, when your boss comes in on his day off?  "I'm sorry you're here too, Betsy," was his reply.  I know.  The point, Aries, is don't read into stuff.  Just assume the best and don't think too hard.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20): So Todd Palin has endorsed Newt.  Ohhh!,  I know!  That guy comes with a snowmobile, a dusty old union membership and a rock solid marriage, which is more than I have, so I guess I shouldn't be too quick to judge, right?  This week, celebrate the progress, Taurus.  This may be as good as it ever gets.

Gemini (5/21 – 6/21):  Is "be here now" really a proven strategy?  Doesn't i…


I’m at a, “why bother” place right now with writing.  I’m trying to change that, but it’s slow and painstaking, which is a lie.  Slow and painstaking conjures up the painting, “Christina’s World”, right?  As if I’m dragging myself up a steep hill using my frail little arms.  It’s not that way at all.  It goes like this: I sit down at the computer to write, but instead, play solitaire and think about how I wish I would write. Then I check FB to see if there’s anything I’ve missed, and usually there is.  Someone has undoubtedly read something else on the internet that they think I should read, and so I do, or had a meal or a hassle that I should know about, or they say something cryptic that lures me into trying to figure it out the back story by researching (notice we’re avoiding the use of the word, “stalking”) them and their friends and their friend’s friends.  Or, Emily Bazelon will post something interesting, like that Rick Santorum’s wife, Karen, was living with an abortion provid…