Should she stay or should she go?

N'3lvra (a.k.a. Khortnee) is threatening to quit because no one writes to her, and she thinks she could find work elsewhere.  I dunno, I don't like to negotiate with terrorists, but I would like to keep her around in case something comes up.  Should I just let her go and be done with the madness?

She's annoyed because I make her show up every day and sit at her desk until quitting time, right there next to the noisy internets, on the off-chance someone needs advice, which hasn't happened in a while.  She heard about the person I work with who packed up her cubicle and disappeared but still gets paid, and wants to do that herself.  I do provide hearing protection, in addition to room and board, which she calls room and bored.  I could assign her to the horoscopes, but she's so sketchy and irritable these days, I hesitate to let her have any control over your future...


  1. Dear Khortnee:

    One day recently, while I was minding my own business in my office cublicle, surfing the web looking for photos of Sarah Palin wearing particularly goofy facial expressions, a pair of cat-pee-infused leather pants arrived in the mail.

    My first thought was to mail them back to the sender, but there was no return address. Then I thought of throwing them away, but I decided that might be bad luck. Then I toyed with the idea of giving them to Goodwill, but I decided the Goodwill people have more important things to do than trying to clean cat-pee-infused leather pants. Then I seized on the idea of anonymously mailing them to a friend, but I’m sure he would quickly figure out where cat-pee-infused leather pants came from.

    Should I try to get them professionally cleaned? Use them as the centerpiece of a shrine to cats? Keep them in the car (with the windows open) to ward off evil spirits? Send them to Glenn Beck?

    Miserable in Maine

  2. Dear Khortnee-
    Please stay. There is immense comfort knowing you are available at the drop of a hat to solve my most intricate problems. I know it's boring to sit around and wait for adverse situations to come your way, but maybe you can sieze upon personal inspiration and just throw some advice around and see where it lands?


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