Hi Cort-nee,

I've had something on my mind now for several days and it finally occurred to me that my troubles would be solved if I wrote you for advice! The problem is that I was defriended on Facebook and I don't know why. 

I've actually been defriended many times but it's usually people I'm not really in touch with any more and was going to defriend myself anyhow, but this time it's different. This person is a current co-worker, sits just down the hall and I actually thought we were  friends, in that coworker kind of way... 

If he had defriended all coworkers I could understand that, but he's still friends with others, even people he had told me personally drive him crazy! So I'm trying to figure out if I've done something really awful and don't remember or didn't realize was so offensive. One more thing...I thought it might be a mistake so I tried 'refriending' him with a little note joking about how I must have really ticked him off and I didn't think our last chat was that bad (we debated a work related topic, good naturedly, I thought) and I'm quite sure he has officially "ignored" the request. I wish it didn't even bother me, but it does. I haven't run into him in the hall since I tried 'refriending'...I'm sure it will be awkward. What should I do?

Offensively? yours,

Dear Friendly,

I can't imagine why anyone would defriend you.  (Is that a word now, btw?)  I, in fact, have only defriended one person, but I felt so bad about it that I had to send him a little gift, an actual gift, not one of those fake facebook gifts, and I sent it through the US mail, and it was a string of hand made paper maiche globes and origami cranes that were attached to Christmas lights to create, if I must say so, a very festive and charming bit of lighting that undoubtedly went completely unappreciated, along with the sparest apology about the unfriending, which was undoubtedly received with a, "huh?"  Sadly, I'm not making any of this up.  

Oh, wait, back to you.  I just think that's plain weird.  It would only make sense if FB put a limit on the number of friends you could have, like Real Life does, but they don't.  And you're clearly not any of these people, the over-updaters, or the cryptic-dramatic posters, "I'm carrying on anyway, sniff sniff", or the sort that is constantly starting pillow fights or begging for farm animals.  So it's definitely not you, which is what he should have said during the unfriending. 

You should walk down the hall and say, "Hey, I wonder if you need my home mailing address, because I hear it's traditional to send a little gift when you unfriend someone; it should be something homemade that contains a message of peace and light."  See what he says.  My guess is that he's gonna be all, "huh?"  If that's what happens, you can at least be thinking in your head, "what an asshole!  I'm so lucky he dumped me, its like a weight has been lifted."

Write back to let us know how it goes.



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