Friday, November 27, 2009

Confused

Dear Chortnee,

I just saw some cannabis incense while out shopping today. Um, I thought incense was to cover up the smell of cannabis....

Sing me,

Confused Shopper

Dear Confused,

That's just to help sell houses. It provides that aroma of, "this house is so easy, even a pothead could live here."

Remember back when realtors advised that you bake bread, or boil water with cinnamon in it to make it seem homey? Well, that backfired. Prospective buyers were all, "shit, I have to bake if I live here? Could you show me something a little easier?" The cannabis incense sends the subliminal message, "lazy people who like to snack a lot would be right at home here."

Oh, and I think it's also used sometimes to mask the scent of cooking meth.

Thanks for writing,
Kourtgnee
--

1 comment:

  1. No comments? Really? THis is freaking brilliant! Breaking Bad might have ended differently if Jessie and Walter had known about the cannabis incense ploy.

    ReplyDelete

I'm excited to report that the author Celeste Ng has selected m y modern love essay to read for the Modern Love podcast next week. Suc...