Aries (3/21 – 4/19): Yay. Finally, a good week ahead. You should probably celebrate with some yummy dessert, don’t you think? Tiramisu? Have you ever made that from scratch? I hear it’s the easiest thing ever. Oh, wait, that's not your horoscope, it's just a comment.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20): It seems like you’ve been having all of these little setbacks lately. You’re always so quiet about it all that you think no one really notices, but that just isn’t so. (Oh, was I supposed to keep that bit about the setbacks to myself?) There’s really not much more you could be doing.

Gemini (5/21 – 6/21): I know, it is hard to focus. Especially now, with the moon is in the waxing gibbous, and the heart line so long and wavery. I might be mixing up palmistry with astrology, sorry! What all that means though, is don’t get any new pets this week, and forgive those people. I know! It isn’t easy, but they’re doing the best they can.

Cancer 6/22 – 7/21: Desperadoes, you better come to your senses. It is time. Read a poem now and again, and live as if it were true. (This one is really solid.)

Leo (7/23 – 8/22): Grr, that family can be so annoying! But try to look at the big picture and stop resenting that you have to do everything. Make the house beautiful if you feel like it, but if not, just play with the dog, hang out with your sister, or take a nap.

Virgo (8/23 – 9/22): You’ll feel less tired in the future, that is certain, but this is good week for napping. With Venus in Scorpio and a bad moon rising, you may want to develop a secret guilty pleasure, like daytime tv or creme brule.

Libra (9/23 – 10/22): Everybody loves your salads. And, your new picture, I might add. This week is gonna be incredible. Enjoy.

Scorpio (10/23 – 11/21): Oh, my Scorpios. Just keep doing what you do. It’s gonna be long, but it will end well. Make some nice plans for the weekend, and keep your eye on that.

Saggitarius (11/22 – 12/21): Drive carefully! And if you haven’t already marked up those catalogs, do it now, before it’s too late. I see a white cake with white frosting coming your way. Oh, and you know that texting while driving is illegal, right? That came up right next to the waxing gibbous part.

Capricorn (12/22 – 1/19): Work work work work work. Again! But soon it will change, and you’ll be lazing about, longing for the old regimen. (Okay, that part is not really an astrological forecast, but more of a wish for you.)

Aquarius (1/20 – 2/18): The fun never stops! I know, you so did not see that coming, eh? But this will be an excellent week. Pack your lunch on Wednesday. Sure, bring me one too, that would be fine.

Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): This is a good week to start a new book. (Your choice, reading one, or writing one.) Keep running, even though it is just completely miserable. You may take that as a metaphor if you'd rather not go outside.