Horoscopes. The "Things We Never Tire Of" Edition
Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): A friend told me that she never gets tired of people toggling blue ribbons on dowels to give the impression of water. At first I thought it was ridiculous. But then I remembered that I never get tired of it either. I will never be heard saying, "whoa, I'm so damn tired of people waving the blue ribbons on dowels -- when will it stop?" Pisces, you water-y sign, conjure water in whatever ways you can. And never tire of water. It's all we've got.
Taurus (4/20 – 5/20): The invisible, transparent wall on the Mexican border is all done. That is some fast government work! I'm glad they made it invisible, because, as the POTUS reminds us, people are constantly heaving 60 pound satchels of drugs over the wall, and you could put someone's eye out with that! I think you could put someone's eye out with this administration, Taurus, so that's not your horoscope. No sirree. Because that would be wrong. Here you go. I never get tired of watching William Wegman movies. Especially the Hardly Boys, but I don't think you've got that kind of time (27 minutes).
Cancer (6/22 – 7/21): But there's another wall that I'd like to talk about, this super ugly wall going up in my neighborhood. Something there is that doesn't love a 6 foot tall plastic fake rock wall. My question for you, Cancer (oh wait! That's not how horoscopes are supposed to go. But these are special times, and Cancer, you're particularly special.) So, what's the most effective way to get the designers of the invisible wall to contact my neighbor? Back to your horoscope, Cancer. I never get tired of changes of state: condensation, evaporation, freezing. Oh, and mushrooms.
|Happy little disco bee|
Leo (7/23 – 8/22): One thing I never get tired of is the joke setup involving some collection of people or creatures walking into a bar. "A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says..." But I saw a particularly hilarious the other day: A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss, and a money launderer walk into a bar. The bartender says: "you guys must be here to talk about adoption." Leo, talk about adoption in the most unlikely situations. This week, adopt a good attitude, a stray kitten, or a starving artist.
Virgo (8/23 – 9/22): I never get tired of seeing people act out celestial events. I have a vague memory of trying to explain the solstice to a group of kindergarteners using a flashlight, a handful of children, an orange, and a basketball. I can laugh quietly in my head just thinking about it, 20 years later. Virgo, this week, bring back the planetary skit. See if you can inspire random groups of people to revolve around an orange.
|Mason bee in dark times|
Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19): I never get tired of the scent of vanilla. It's weird how vanilla has come to mean bland, lacking an identity. Because when you open up that little bottle of real vanilla and bring it to the nose, ... pause while you go do that... it's completely transformative. It can shake up your whole day. Also, because it reminds me of one of my favorite books, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, when Mick Kelly dabs vanilla behind her ear as perfume.
Aquarius (1/20-2/18): I never tire of tracking packages. Even when I already know, "due to arrive at the end of Wednesday", I still like to look. Updates like "Left the facility," make me strangely happy. (Not as happy, of course, as "out for delivery"). Aquarius, don't be like me. Just wait patiently, and spend your time actually doing stuff.