Showing posts from June, 2015

Horoscopes in Microdoses

Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):   Feeling a little down, Pisces?  Maybe micro-dosing is the answer.  There is no downside to a procedure that causes you to say, at the end of every day, "Now that was a good day.  Find us the hook-up, please?  Anyway, let's all meet in downward dog.  

Aries (3/21 - 4/19): Does anyone know for sure what a "guest internet" is?  You know what I'm talking about:  the one you use when you're lurking in the bushes near your neighbor's house because your own internet isn't working.  It's labeled with their last name plus "guest".  Is that like the guest towels that you save for company?  Meaning, you don't use them to mop up the goo when the washing machine fails and water gets all over the laundry room floor?  Do people do that with their regular internet?  Please explain, Aries.  Your week will be full of guests, in the best way possible.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  I've had a terrible infestation of houseflies lately…

Super Powers

I was in the field today when I accidentally walked into a hornet's nest, and got stung four times.  Not a huge number, but I wasn't sure how I'd react so I went home.  All stings were on and near my left boob, and were getting swollen and kind of itchy and painful.  I sprayed some liquid Benadryl on the area, and laid down for "a few minutes".

Three hours later l woke up.  I know.  There's almost no evidence of any stings -- just four tiny red marks, no pain or swelling, which seems exactly like something that would happen in a fairy tale or comic book.  Do you think I got inoculated with my super power?  I do too!  I can't tell what it is yet, though.  So far I don't seem able to fly or pass through walls, but I'm about to go test out some other things.  Let me know if you have any suggestions.