Crickets: a gateway bug
: I know there are people who think crickets are just a gateway bug for me, but that's not so. It's possible I'll get an ant colony someday, but that's a long way off. And Pisces, is it so wrong to want a little companionship, anyway? Speaking of which, will I ever see you? Make it happen!Aries (3/21 - 4/19): It's time to review the rules of what not to talk about, Aries. I've added a few more. The original seven:
- Route talk
- Period talk
- Aches and pains
- How you slept
- Dietary needs
- Detailed descriptions of procedures that the listener will never need to perform.
- Detailed descriptions of a movie, book, or video that the listener hasn't seen.
- What day it was when something happened. If you don't know, just say it was Tuesday. DON'T STRUGGLE TO FIGURE OUT IF IT WAS TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY UNLESS YOU'RE BEING INTERVIEWED BY THE POLICE.
- The weather, unless it's super dramatic.
Ok, there are more but I'll leave it there. Let's get some cards made up and leave them around, shall we? There's nothing wrong with a bit of silence. We don't need to fill in all the gaps, Aries. If you have gaps this week, fill them with your brilliance! We need more of that.
|A crematorium in upstate NY, and |
site of a famous Fata Morgana
Gemini (5/21 - 6/21): I just finished reading a memoir about a woman who grew up with hoarders as parents; it was pretty grim. And it made me think how grateful I am that I don't have that particular malady. The hoarders form strong attachments to objects and feel grief about the prospect of getting rid of them. I, personally, have a great deal of trouble caring about objects. I often wish my house would just burn up, poof! No more stuff! I would start over with just one pillow, a sleeping bag, a small acorn bowl, and a spoon. Sigh of happiness. And bees. And crickets. That's all I need, as Steve Martin said. (When's the last time you saw that movie? Go do it!)
Leo (7/23 – 8/22): It seemed like for a while, maybe a month, every time I listened to the news, they'd mention that they're about to get to the sentencing phase for the Boston Marathon bomber. Now they've done it. And no one asked me, but I don't think taking another life advances us, as a culture, towards greatness. What advances us toward greatness, Leo, is forgiveness and compassion. Do what you can this week.
Virgo (8/23 – 9/22): Write for one minute. Play solitaire for 5 minutes. Watch crickets for 7 minutes. Write for one more minute. And so my life goes by. But you have to admit that the crickets are pretty damned interesting. And beautiful. Dare I say appetizing?
Libra (9/23 – 10/22): It turns out that we each have a genetic chronotype, and even though you already know yours, there's a test, and it turns out that the humans love tests! It turns out I'm a lark. Getting the worm isn't all it's cracked up to be, Libra. See if you can sleep in once in a while.
Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21): Speaking of attachments to things, I've been looking at this book, which consists of pictures of what people would save from their burning house. I honestly don't know if I'd save anything. I'd walk away and try not to do a little jig, because that would make me seem guilty, like that woman who pushed her rich bf out of the kayak into the Hudson River, and then went to sing karaoke. If you like podcasts about karaoke, btw, here's one I've been enjoying.
Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19): They've added signage on a local roadway to show us how to do the zipper merge: stay in this lane, merge here, take turns. I wasn't surprised to see the new instructions; I know the Zipper Merge is all the rage these days. But what did surprise me, and kind of choked me up, is that no one follows the instructions. It turns out that sign or no sign, we tend to think it's the behavior of an asshole to pass on the right, and we won't do it. I don't know precisely why it actually brings a lump to my throat, but I think it's because people taking a stand. Even if it's a stand for something tiny and insignificant. We, the people of the valley, aren't for line cutting. We'll rot in traffic before we take up the damned zipper merge! Displays of courage and conviction always cause me to weep just a little bit. Did you see that movie Pirate Radio? Like that.
Aquarius (1/20 – 2/18): If you've somehow missed this video, go watch it. Ok, in 1969, my sister and I had a club called The Peace People. Our main activities were creating science museums in the basement, solving mysteries, sending away for free things from the back of the Saturday Review, and making floral collages on old meat trays. I'd like to get that going again now, if anyone's interested. And speaking of mysteries, this might be my new favorite podcast. Check it out, Aquarius.