Fantasies

I've been thinking about fantasies lately, and realized mine have gone a little rogue.  I used to have the normal ones - variations on love, sex, sucess, the lottery.  Not so much anymore.

A prize-winning key chain collection at the fair
I woke up groggy from a nap the other day, the way I do at this time of year (by "this time of year", I mean all of it except for July and a wee bit into August), and had that disembodied vague feeling, like I have to get up again?  How many times must one rise up in a single lifetime?  And then I realized that I didn't have to get up, I could stay in bed for a few days, possibly a week, before anyone would notice -- no one counts on me for anything timely at this point in my life, so I laid there for a while trying to determine whether that's freedom or failure, all the while hearing Janis Joplin is singing in the background of my mind.  As I considered the options available, I realized that all I wanted is to be in a hardware store.

I wanted to be around people who are moving forward with their lives, people who need supplies and tools because they have stuff going on, things to build and repair.  The hardware store is so soothing and optimistic.  But sheesh, getting from nap position to a hardware store, yikes.  Mount Everest.  But I put my oxygen tank and crampons on, suited up, and dragged myself to the little hardware store in town.  I walked up and down all of the aisles, but it wasn't really what I was looking for.  Too many people like me in there, people I know or should, people who seem more nappish and confused than industrious.  And there's no lumber, and not many power tools either.  Lumber.  I needed to be around lumber.

I got back in the car and drove to the big box store, another 20 minutes, and ahh, there it was.  I walked around looking at stuff for about an hour, maybe two, I lost track.  I fondled stuff I don't need and don't know how to use, but I wish I did.  All the people around me were super-focused; they were oblivious to everything but the project at hand.  People even absent-mindedly bumped into me, they were so distracted by their industriousness.

I restrained myself from buying a kit to build a workbench, which wasn't easy.  It mostly came down to the fact that I can't carry 9 8-foot long 2 x 4's in my car.  Oh, right, and that I don't need a work bench.  That's the other part.

Some people dream of being rich and having a theater room or a swimming pool in their home.  All I really want is a small bedroom with a hotplate attached to a Home Depot so I can hitchhike on the industriousness happening in there after a nap.  That's it, my big fantasy.  No trench coats and leather, no flowers, no being seduced by a stranger on a bus.  Just to live near a giant soul-less big box store full of stuff I don't need and people I don't know.  Does that seem okay?

Comments

  1. I was in a Lowe's today with my husband who was one of the people fiercely focused on his projects. I fondled a few rugs. I ran into a friend and talked to her. She's going to a Chinese MD who does acupuncture and has her on an anti-inflammatory diet. She can't eat wheat or dairy but she can eat eggs. I'm going to take her some. The garden center had nothing I needed so I went out and waited in the car. I did not have a nap today.
    I think your fantasy is quite reasonable. I used to have a fantasy of living in a garage apartment in Key West where I would be the housekeeper/cook of a lovely gay couple who would pay me outrageous amounts of money and love me with all of their hearts.

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    1. I think you're living your fantasy! Except for the gay couple and the outrageous amounts of money. But all of their hearts, I'm sure you have that!!
      xo

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  2. I love hardware stores. Especially the little local Ace hardware places that have bins of different nails and screws and other fasteners that I can't name and a lumber yard, but also a little section with bird feeders and quirky kitchen tools. The one I used to go to with my dad when I was a kid always gave me one of those lollipops with the loop for a handle. I loved that.

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    1. What happened to those string handles, anyway? Did we run out of string? Really?

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  3. I, too, have a fantasy about finding some industriousness, but I never thought to look for it in a hardware store. I've always thought if I could just get some more sleep the industriousness would follow. Hmm. Maybe I need to change my approach.

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    1. I'm not saying my approach is working, but I do find great comfort in the hardware store. But abundant sleep, that's a good plan too. Let me know if you figure anything out.

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  4. Projects!! Yes fall is a drug that makes us want to complete things, build things, sew things, move things. I think I want a nap.

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  5. The tools and lumber and nail guns and ladders have all come to me. If you wanna come over and hang out on my dismantled back half of a house, feel free. And you can have all the sawdust you want. And later a lie down on the couch.

    XX Beth

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  6. "Does this seem alright?" What is this...Northwest angst? Too much rain? Withdrawal from medication? No, this does not seem alright! Go find a wild man in a trench coat, stop taking naps, and get off the bus! Nothing good ever happened on a bus. But, of course, whatever you decide will be just fine, dear.

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