Am I a man dreaming of being a butterfly or a woman upwardly mobile on Moh's hardness scale?

I've been stewing a lot about metamorphosis recently -- the actual thing, not a metaphor.  Well, maybe the metaphor a little bit.  (OK, a lot.  But I won't go into that here.)  Mostly I think about how caterpillars dissolve in the cocoon into slurry, and emerge as butterflies with memories of their lowly caterpillar life.  (I think I've been a caterpillar, and I've definitely been slurry... is that good?)

There's a theory, probably on the list to be debunked, but interesting, nonetheless, that butterflies and caterpillars are two different species, and there's a "deathlike intermission", followed by the reincarnation of a new species.  So while I've been thinking about that, a friend tells me about a service that converts human remains into diamonds.

Is our time spent as ashes in an urn (or suitcase, as the case may be) merely a death-like intermission before we become diamonds?  Is reincarnation available for a few thousand dollars?  What would it be like to be a diamond?  I've never really liked diamonds much, but this changes it.

Remember when Agent 99 used her diamond ring to get out of the phone booth?  Because diamonds can cut glass.  Even though the condition of being stuck in a phone booth that's filling up with water is getting increasingly rare, it's cool to consider saving lives after death, because you're a Number 10 on the hardness scale.  I think I'm a negative three in my human condition (scratched by harsh words), but it is merely temporary.


  1. The answer is a definite "yes".


  2. Yes. To all of this. And I DO remember Agent 99 using her newly acquired engagement ring diamond to get them out of the phone both while the water was rising. "Oh Max!" she would always wail.
    My kids have talked about turning my ashes into diamonds in case I do not turn out be immortal. It's an interesting prospect.
    Slurry. My.

    1. I know. That episode, and the one where the floor of the airplane bathroom opened up to the outside, really shaped me. I wonder what color diamond you'll turn into? They say your diamond color often matches your eye color, which is kind of in the "sperm carry memories" category of being amazing....

  3. Holy shit Betsy. I do know about 'cremains' (hahahahahahahahaha). You can have your ashes made into jewelry. I mean, think of the possibilities. Unicorns, My Little Pony, palm trees, wishing wells, the list is endless. I mean, why stop at diamonds?

    Although the word slurry gives me the creeps.

  4. Sorry, I used 'I mean' twice in that past post.

  5. Betsy, I love the way you think. I've been obsessed with cremains jewelry since I first heard of them. My mom is obsessed with jewelry but I'm not sure I'd want to have any made of her. There is a website
    that makes all kinds of things from cremains, but they are pretty occluded with specks of ash and kind of creep me out. Don't think they'd have a 10 rating.
    I was geeking out over metamorphosis with a park naturalist a few years ago, who used the word slurry too, and I think more than is normal or healthy about the mystery of dissolving and recombining into something new. I used to enjoy imagining what I could possibly morph into, because I've always wanted to be other than what I am. But I'm afraid this is my only instar phase.
    We take what we can get, right?
    Also, I love your bee. I love bees almost as much as I love moths.


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