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Showing posts from December, 2012

Last Horoscopes Before the End

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Aries (3/21 – 4/19): Phew, last horoscopes before the world ends.  Saturday, if we're still around, days will get longer, life will be bright and fun, and everything will be easier.  Am I the only one who hasn't seen Kung Fu Panda?  Should I squeeze that in during these final hours?  Aries, the thing for you to do is stockpile lethal injections.  Someone you love will need it sometime, and it never hurts to be prepared.  You should also sign up for the text message service that will tell you if the Tolt Dam fails.  I'm sorry to start this off on such a grim note, but the world is ending, after all.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  So I made a hat and I have exactly 3.5 stories about it, which is a lot given that I've only had it for a couple weeks.  If I don't come up with any ideas for these horoscopes, we'll probably run through all 3.5, which is a sorry way to go out.  Three and a half stories about a hat.  Rather, Taurus, I'd like to turn your attention to this v…

The feet

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This is my daughter's feet as interpreted by the lovely and talented E, a painter and poet and writer and all around good human.   

Horoscopes for the Dark Times

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Aries (3/21 – 4/19): I was on an airplane last week and every single person on the plane was very attractive.  I don't need to tell you how rare that is.  I felt like either my vision was poor (which it is, but I don’t think that was it) or I was on an episode of Lost.   Luckily, the plane arrived safely in Chicago instead of crashing on a tropical island.  Or maybe it wasn't so lucky -- I wouldn’t have had any problem getting stuck in a nice climate with those beautiful people.  Not only that, but everyone was really well-behaved.  I was seated between two mothers with infants on their laps.  Right?  That can't turn out good.  But the babies were adorable and they just cooed for a minute and then dozed for the rest of the flight, snuggled into their mothers chests.  That's pretty much how your week will go, Aries.  Lots of beautiful people, a bit of cooing, and a long winter's nap.  Enjoy.


Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  The other night I stopped on my way home from the air…