1. It may make you feel better about your life. (Things you could possibly be thinking: Wow, thank god I don’t have to paint the outside of my house today.” or, “Really? She pays someone to help her with her writing, and then just writes to-do lists? That’s really sad. I’m so not that person.”)
2. You’d get the list without advertising! No one at google is sitting around deciding you have belly fat, unwanted hair, or would be interested in getting your photo taken with the Charmin Bear at Sam’s Club. (Really, google? Is that who you think I am?). (Do you like how I continue to use the Oxford comma, even though Oxford itself is dropping it?)
3. Okay, at first, I know what you were thinking. You were thinking what so many well-meaning smart people have been saying to me: “Huh?” But like that joke that seems dumb at first, it grows on you after a while.
4. Of course, there’s the suspense: will she paint the porch? Will the nasty smell be located?
5. You’ll get follow up on important items, like this, from dining with M. yesterday:
5. You’ll get follow up on important items, like this, from dining with M. yesterday:
M. has a co-worker, whom I’ll call ER. ER had a pretty sketchy boyfriend at one point. After they broke up, he ended up living in his Honda Civic with three large dogs: Doberman, Rotweiler, and Pit Bull. (I’m not exactly saying he was angry, but I think you get the idea.) The Doberman got out of the vehicle and was collected by the dog catcher. For some reason, ER was contacted, and she found a home for the dog.
But the home wasn’t the greatest, so ER drove about an hour each way, several times a week, to walk the dog.
But the home wasn’t the greatest, so ER drove about an hour each way, several times a week, to walk the dog.
About a month into this situation, she encountered a man while walking the dog who said his Doberman had died recently. ER tried to give the dog to the man, but he said he wasn’t ready for that.
ER offered to let him walk with her and the dog, and he did. For eight years. The two have not struck up any sort of friendship in this time – they just walk the dog. So, for eight years, ER has been commuting a long distance three times a week to walk her sketchy ex-bf’s dog, who lives with another family, and she walks the dog with a nearly random stranger.
Recently, she was able to convince Random Stranger to take ownership of the dog. But she continues to go down every Saturday to walk the dog with Random Stranger. If ER were a dog, she would be a labrador retriever.
ER offered to let him walk with her and the dog, and he did. For eight years. The two have not struck up any sort of friendship in this time – they just walk the dog. So, for eight years, ER has been commuting a long distance three times a week to walk her sketchy ex-bf’s dog, who lives with another family, and she walks the dog with a nearly random stranger.
Recently, she was able to convince Random Stranger to take ownership of the dog. But she continues to go down every Saturday to walk the dog with Random Stranger. If ER were a dog, she would be a labrador retriever.
Yesterday, Random Stranger called ER and said that the dog had gathered all it’s toys into one pile, and then moved to a different area to nap. Random Stranger didn’t know why the dog was doing this. ER agreed to visit after work to check it out.
See, that’s the kind of stuff you’d get if you were to subscribe. It might seem like I’m not very interesting, but I know people. Oh, and I think you might get a free sticker as well.
6. Sometimes a three item list will actually have six items.
6. Sometimes a three item list will actually have six items.
I'm trembling on the edge of wanting so very much to buy your list but something (not sure what, sanity maybe) keeps holding me back. Not to worry. I've never been known to hang on to sanity for long periods at a time. I do have my own list:
ReplyDelete1. try not to buy lists
2. try not to buy lists
3. try not to buy lists
4. oops...I feel my grip loosening.
This is a good strategy. Keep your resolve!
DeleteI keep putting my $5 into the tray thingy in my computer here, but it just spits it back out. Now I'll have to call Dhave. Dhamn!
ReplyDeleteShoot. Dhave will probably want to meet you in Nebraska or something for the first visit, but next time, he'll come right to your home.
DeleteI really like the dog story, though it's somewhat complicated with possibly too many characters in it. Do you ever use cat stories in your list service? My cat story is that my husband is building a very interesting and lovely cattery for my 2 cats. I'm trying to determine how to measure all of the time spent on cat projects for my "to do" list.
ReplyDeleteThanks Issy; I agree that the dog story is pretty complicated, not unlike our lives. I can't wait to hear how the cattery works out.
DeleteSo many people. So many lists.
ReplyDeletePerhaps as an added bonus to subscribing you could set up a list exchange/barter system. Or like a Secret Santa you would just receive an anonymous list!
Now I realize that this wouldn't help one wit to get things checked off, but at least you could now blame it on someone else thereby saving yourself from any potential self-loathing.
I know I would subscribe to that!
Hey, thanks for reading! Here's your anonymous-ish to do list. (It might not *seem* anonymous, but I'm wearing a large floppy hat that covers much of my face.) For free!
Delete1. Carefully wrap up your tiny lump of potential self-loathing in a soft cloth. Maybe flannel. Carry it out to the curb, and release it with some words of appreciation, like, "hey, thanks for keeping me humble. Blessings on your journey." Put a "free" sign on it, and hope an arrogant human who needs a little humility picks it up.
2. Enjoy the rest of your day.
im subscribing.stat. i owe you $5 and your plate :)
ReplyDelete