Nickname advice

Dear Courtney,

I am a fervent follower of Betsy’s blog. I especially enjoy the nicknames for all of her friends. I wish I were one of her friends and had a nickname. If I were, what would my nickname be?

Signed,

doesn’t-have-a-nick-name-to-sign-with

Dear Bird Trainer-Lady,

First, thanks for writing.  I'm glad you've got problems, and I mean that in the fondest, most helpful way possible, because otherwise, I'd get no letters.  Ever.  Second, of course you're her friend.  Duh.  In fact, you should probably hit her up to go crabbing, not because that's all she seems to think about these days, but because it would be fun.  It may be time to leave all that vegetarian nonsense behind,  get to the beach and gather food.  Hard times may be a'comin'.

The bigger reason I'd like to congratulate you for writing, though, is your solid understanding that you can't give yourself a nickname.  Have you ever been around that guy who's all, "Hey, guys, my name is John, but you can just call me J-Man!"  Sad.

Or the other thing, and this might just be me, Bird-Trainer Lady, but I think it's wrong to self-shorten your reasonably short name.  Like, if your name were Linda, you should not start signing your e-mails "Lin".  Okay, maybe that's a bad example because Lynne would be an actual name.  Let's say your name is Tom, and you just start signing mail, "To".  That's just wrong and seems especially weak and possibly narcissistic, don't you think?  Now, the contrapositive of that would be okay, like you could call Linda  "Lin".  In fact, that might make her feel rather special.  So many rules, so many rules.

But back to you, Bird Trainer Lady, I'm still thinking....

Yours, 

Khortnee (which, by the way, is a nick-name my mother gave me, because no one could pronounce N'3lvra)


PS:  You should hang out with Betsy every Sunday evening from 6-8.


PPS:  Write again.  No problem is too small.