Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Review Horoscopes, Part 2 of 3, or maybe of 4.

George Harvey, 1837
Here we go, part 2 of 3 part horoscopes, in which I review Inflammation, the Erie Canal, and a few other things.

Leo (7/23 – 8/22): Inflammation.  Did we even have that when we were kids?  Nope.  Well, we had the kind where you got stung by a wasp and your leg swelled up, but not this secret killer inflammation where you're just sitting around thinking, jeez, is it really so wrong to have a brownie and a beer for dinner?  And then you remember about inflammation.  The silent killer turns out to be not a high fat diet, but rather  inflammation, whatever the fuck that is.  Like, there's inflammation going on in your blood stream?  Doesn't that sound phony?  This new secret inflammation that wreaks havoc and you don't even know it but pretty much everything you really enjoy except yoga and walks in the woods cause it.  I'll give inflammation one star.  Because we are not for silent killers?  Or loud killers either.  Leo, I don't know what to tell you.  I guess do the yoga, eat the brownie, love the children.

Virgo (8/23 – 9/22): The Erie Canal.  This is a tough one, Virgo.  In case you didn't grow up in NY where the Erie Canal was part of your blood stream, and you knew at least three songs about it ( "the Ear-I-E is a rising, and the gin is gettin' low and I scarcely think I'll get a drink til I get to Buffalo, til I get to Buffalo..."), I'll tell you about the canal.  It's a huge hand excavated ditch that connects Lake Erie to the Hudson River, 338 miles long.  It was dug in the early 1800's by mostly Irish immigrants who used shovels and picks to dig a giant freaking waterway, 4' deep and 7' wide through compacted glacial till and clay soil and across the Montezuma swamp.  They were paid 37 cents and a pint of whisky a day, and lots of people died doing it.  They invented stuff to help, like the wheelbarrow (although it had been around for a few thousand years.  I guess they improved it.).  There was a lot of weird stuff going on in Upstate NY at the time, like the Shakers were doing their thing and Joseph Smith found those plates, and meanwhile, this huge ditch was being constructed.  

I spend a lot of my work life trying to determine whether something is a stream or a ditch, and grr, it's a stupid question and time waster.  If it's a stream it's regulated; if it's a ditch, anything goes.  And the difference isn't obvious, because humans have moved natural streams around to make our lives easier (at least that's what we think), but they've also excavated ditches to move water off roads and away from buildings.  So they look the same.  I hate that question, because the real way to answer it is by waiting a hundred years.  Streams win, ditches fail.  But no one wants to hear that.  "Pay me now, and I'll answer in a hundred years."  Kind of like those people who take care of your pets after the rapture.  

So, I'm not sure how to rate the E.C.  Is it a magnificent feat of engineering, a testament to the toil and ingenuity of humans, or is it one more stupid project, trading the natural environment and topography for commerce?  We excavated a huge ditch that parallels the shoreline of a giant lake -- you may have heard of Ontario?  And yet, I remain obsessed with the canal.  I'll give it a solid 3 stars, which really means partly 5 and partly 1.

Libra (9/23 – 10/22):  The song, Pearls, by Antje Duvekot.  This is one of many beautiful songs by Antje, and I listened yesterday, breaking my own rule that I can only listen to the prettiest songs on Thursdays.  It's like breaking out the good china for Tuesday lunch or something.  Some things are meant to be saved for special.  But anyway, one of the best lines is, "with all the sand that gets inside the world, we should all  be mother-fucking pearls."  And I used to hear that as YEAH.  The world, GRRR, too sandy!  And yesterday, on a Tuesday of all things, I heard it differently. I heard it as a challenge.  We should all give it our best crack at being mother-fucking pearls, because we have opportunity.  We have sand, and it can get in your eyes and irritate the fuck out of you, or it can be an abrasive that grinds down the sharp bits, makes us beautiful and soft and opalescent.  I'll give it 5 stars.  Libra, choose that.

  

6 comments:

  1. So. Have you ever heard about this?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross_Florida_Barge_Canal
    The Army Core of Engineers at their finest.
    Seemed like a good idea at the time, I suppose.
    No golden plates were ever found. That was a Joseph Smith invention. Years after it was supposed to have happened his witnesses admitted that they had seen the plates with their "spiritual eyes" and not their real ones. Joseph wrote the Book of Mormon by using a stone in a hat.
    Yep. That's right. A "seer" stone. I have listened to about forty thousand hours of Mormon Stories podcasts. Do not ask me why. I guess I'm just fascinated by the Mormons. But I know a whole lot about the religion now and the history thereof. I really wish some Mormon missionaries would come and knock on my door but of course they never will now that I know their secrets.
    That is an amazing line from that song. Thank you. I'm glad you listened on a Tuesday, you rebel you. You're practically an apostate!

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    1. What is it with the humans and their canals?!! But yes, I'm also fascinated/obsessed with Mormon history. I hope someone knocks at your door. xoxo

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  2. I have seen the Erie Canal and sang those songs!!!! As a bonafide Upstate New Yorker, it was/is a thing. So thanks for mentioning it as I don't think it gets as much attention as it deserves.

    "I gotta mule and her name is Sal
    15 miles on the Erie Canal
    She's a good old worker and a good old pal
    15 miles on the Erie Canal"

    etc.

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    Replies
    1. Yes. Let's bring the Erie Canal Back! Keep singing the songs. :-)

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