1. I have a very curious and mildly ferocious dog. She would definitely be up for an investigation. In fact, she's hoping for one. As an example, I woke up at 5:30 the other morning thinking about this half-dead frog, and how it was probably dead, and I should go find it and get the skeleton. Who was totally game and bounded outside with me? Yes, Jasmine the dog. That's the kind of spirit we need on this investigation. And you can see how aggressive she is. 2. I have an abundance of corn starch in my cupboard, left over from having little kids who made potions. (Now they are adults and they make their potions elsewhere.) Cornstarch, of course, will be used to dust for fingerprints.
3. I own a magnifying glass, thousands of honeybees (which may become useful for smuggling information), and a nice little GPS unit.
4. I'm not connected with any of the people involved, which may seem like a bad thing (no contacts), but it will give me a fresh new look at everything, and freedom of movement. No one will suspect me. I'll just look like an ordinary woman with cornstarch, binoculars, a magnifying glass, gps unit, and dog.
5. And last but not least, I can't be fired.
So, please send your tips. Anything you know about Russian involvement in the election, or Michael Flynn, or pretty much anything you think I'd find interesting. Jasmine and I will follow up on everything in a timely manner.
PS: I've turned into one of those people who talks about my dog all the time. I can't help myself. But I promise to focus on the investigation.
No inside information for you, but I do have my opinion: They are guilty, guilty, guilty!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, we'll take that as a tip. And investigate!
DeleteDoes Jasmine talk about you all the time? You'll both be busy for quite a while investigating. Remember, sleep is a living death and you don't need it. Good luck and if you ever get caught I will deny ever having heard of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Jasmine doesn't talk about me at all. But we both like our sleep, but during our waking hours, we'll be all about the investigation!
DeleteI think you should definitely investigate. Somebody needs to, and ... well, you've got everything you need.
ReplyDeleteJasmine is such a lovely girl! And sleepy :)
Yes, if not us, then who? :-)
DeleteIf ever there was a time when the U.S. needed outside investigators, it's now. Jasmine and you may be just the ticket.
ReplyDeleteI hope we can find footage of treason begin committed. . . My lab assistant isn't very well versed on the laws, but she does sit when asked, which is a start.
Deletelab assistant - LOL
DeletePerhaps you should write children's history books. The fact that the White House does even have a dog makes me suspicious about the Russians.
ReplyDeleteI know. First president without a dog in a while. Obviously hiding something...
DeleteOh wow Betsy, this is working for me again. My siblings and I are all cat lovers and my mother used to time us when we talked about our cats too long. we just couldn't be still about all of the funny, cute things our cats would do. I really hope that you and Jasmine can investigate Trump...I don't think that is my cat's forte. Why has Trump backed away from the Paris Environmental Treaty thing??? I think he is so awful that anything you and Jas find out about him will be helpful!
ReplyDelete