Investigation

I think I'll take up the investigation myself.  My qualifications:

1.  I have a very curious and mildly ferocious dog.  She would definitely be up for an investigation.  In fact, she's hoping for one.  As an example, I woke up at 5:30 the other morning thinking about this half-dead frog, and how it was probably dead, and I should go find it and get the skeleton.  Who was totally game and bounded outside with me?  Yes, Jasmine the dog.  That's the kind of spirit we need on this investigation.  And you can see how aggressive she is.

2.  I have an abundance of corn starch in my cupboard, left over from having little kids who made potions.  (Now they are adults and they make their potions elsewhere.)  Cornstarch, of course, will be used to dust for fingerprints.

3.  I own a magnifying glass, thousands of honeybees (which may become useful for smuggling information), and a nice little GPS unit.

4.  I'm not connected with any of the people involved, which may seem like a bad thing (no contacts), but it will give me a fresh new look at everything, and freedom of movement.  No one will suspect me.  I'll just look like an ordinary woman with cornstarch, binoculars, a magnifying glass, gps unit, and dog.


5.  And last but not least, I can't be fired.

So, please send your tips.  Anything you know about Russian involvement in the election, or Michael Flynn, or pretty much anything you think I'd find interesting.  Jasmine and I will follow up on everything in a timely manner.

PS:  I've turned into one of those people who talks about my dog all the time.  I can't help myself.  But I promise to focus on the investigation.

Comments

  1. No inside information for you, but I do have my opinion: They are guilty, guilty, guilty!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, we'll take that as a tip. And investigate!

      Delete
  2. Does Jasmine talk about you all the time? You'll both be busy for quite a while investigating. Remember, sleep is a living death and you don't need it. Good luck and if you ever get caught I will deny ever having heard of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure Jasmine doesn't talk about me at all. But we both like our sleep, but during our waking hours, we'll be all about the investigation!

      Delete
  3. I think you should definitely investigate. Somebody needs to, and ... well, you've got everything you need.

    Jasmine is such a lovely girl! And sleepy :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. If ever there was a time when the U.S. needed outside investigators, it's now. Jasmine and you may be just the ticket.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope we can find footage of treason begin committed. . . My lab assistant isn't very well versed on the laws, but she does sit when asked, which is a start.

      Delete
  5. Perhaps you should write children's history books. The fact that the White House does even have a dog makes me suspicious about the Russians.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know. First president without a dog in a while. Obviously hiding something...

      Delete

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