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Showing posts from December, 2015

Is it a fish or an elephant?

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My Dear Jennio,

I am operating the lamest fake travel agency ever.  You've been standing at the end of your driveway in the dead of winter, bags packed, waiting for instructions about your trip for weeks now.  I'm so sorry for my slowness.  But finally, here's your itinerary.

Because you value and are generous with time, and you don't really like to be away from home where your loved ones and books reside, I'm sending you back in time so you get more of it, this thing you both value and are free with.  (I know.  It always comes back to time travel with me.)

But here's the thing, Jennio.  I woke up this morning, thinking about the constellations and the more I thought about it, the more choked up I became.



Do you see it now?
I know.  What if we have it wrong, and those stars have been pigeon-holed as a pair of fish, and really, its a sea monkey or an elephant?  What if the inner elephant has been waiting to get out, and that little piece of sky has been misjudge…

Tick Tock

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When I was a new-ish mother, I attended a Tupperware party.  This is before I caught on to the whole thing, women trying to make parties out of guilt and plastic.  If anyone needs plastic shit, they go to Target.  They don't go to a party.  We all know that now, but I was still figuring it out, trying to fit in with the other moms, and woo-hoo, I got invited to a party!
The first thing we did was to go around the room and say what our favorite piece of tupperware was.  I didn't listen to the other answers because I was busy trying not to panic.  Favorite tupperware?  Really?  Is that a thing?  I don't even have a favorite color or movie.  (I did have a favorite Monkey, though:  Peter.)  
When it came to me, I made something up. I said I really liked these plastic salt and pepper shakers that we took on picnics when I was a kid.  They were white towers shaped like the space needle and embossed with a gold "S" and "P" that flaked off over the years.  I r…

Horoscopes: the foreplay edition

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Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):  The DIY-ers are helping people off the grid by showing how to grow penicillin.  Nice re-frame:  I'm not just forgetting to toss old bread, I'm preparing.  For that time-travel adventure back to 1949, when penicillin actually worked. Who goes to 1949, though?  They didn't even have women then, as far as I can tell.  I looked over the highlights, and it's men this, men that.  But maybe,Pisces, it's worth a trip to investigate.  I think I have some old bread you can use.  
Aries (3/21 - 4/19): The winter, dark times are upon us. Bleh.  I find that I'm mostly waiting for Starlee Kine to release another podcast, but I've been waiting since July.  Aries, do you think she'll ever be back to solve another mystery?  

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  I've been watching this for a while, which both appeals to my [deeply buried] sense of order, and also makes me unbearably sad, because jeez, no one should spend their childhood folding shirts.  Even i…