Training

I just woke up from my first nap in about two weeks, which might be a record.  I attribute this strange turn of events to two things.  Although this list seems to have more numbers than two.  I don't know how that works.
  • I put up a hummingbird feeder.  I did that because I had a little bit of excitement recently, and it left me exhausted.  I realized that you need to build up to excitement; too much all at once is like a couch potato running a marathon.  I thought back over the last 10 years or so, and pretty much, the most exciting thing that's happened is seeing a hummingbird.  Like, "oh wow! Look, a hummingbird!  Oh, it's gone." So, my training program for the past decade has been tiny, short bursts, separated by looooong rests.  I'm not saying nothing good or interesting has happened, just that nothing exciting.  Now  I watch the hummingbird feeder, and I'm like, OH! A HUMMINGBIRD.  Another one!!.  And so on, all day long, getting stronger, bird by bird.  
  • With this workout program, I've gotten pretty excitement-worthy, and can usually last through the whole day without a nap.  Until today.  I got a tiny consulting job this week, and by tiny, I mean it's about two days of work.  It's a great company, and so they have a lot of requirements, which is fine.  So they wanted proof of insurance, and a UBI number, and a bunch of other paperwork and signatures and on and on, and me, strong from my hummingbird feeder training, just march march marched on through all the paperwork, and finally, the nice man said, "Great, you're good to go!"  And I was feeling all grown up, like, "I know.  Someone hands me wads of hoops to jump through, I just keep at it until I'm done."  And then he said, "Oops!  One more thing!"  And sent a form that requested my safety plan, and proof of current CPR, and a pdf of last year's taxes, and on and on.  False summit.  You can see why I needed a nap.
  • Here is my safety plan, if anyone needs it for their records.  All future inquiries will be directed here:  If I'm working alone in the woods (which is what I do, btw) and harm befalls me, I will stay put until a turkey vulture or other large predator draws attention to my decaying body.  






Comments

  1. The turkey vultures came back today. Not to my house, because my roofs slope. But to the town hall, where they lay their eggs on the flat surfaces, the roof and the brick ledges.
    Turkey vultures are ugly as sin, too. Let's think of a better bird to find you in the woods.

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    1. I'm okay with the vulture, actually. Better than carrion beetles, which don't draw so much notice.

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  2. God bless the vultures. I would not mind one of those Tibetan vulture funerals.

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    1. Yes! That does sound, well, not exactly fun, but worthy.

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  3. I saw an eagle low over the lake today. Maybe if you waste away enough, an eagle could pick you up and carry you to their eaglets? baby eagles?

    I have been napping lately. In my clothes. Without brushing my teeth. Kinda icky but the dog doesn't seem to care. He thinks I smell wonderful.

    XXX your friend Beth

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    1. I think that's good! All of it. Carried away by eagles, napping without brushing teeth, and so on. But, it does seem like seeing an eagle will sharpen your skills for lasting through the whole day without napping. That's the theory, anyway.

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  5. Up to date CPR *is* your safety plan right there. Duh. And they doubted you? Maybe it was a trick question.

    Be careful out there, Betsy!

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    Replies
    1. Ha! And part 2 of the plan will be, "Administer CPR to myself on an as-needed basis." :-)

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