Showing posts from May, 2014

Horoscopes: The haplodiploid edition

Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):  I ran into someone last week who questioned whether I'm a real astrologist.  Really?  I hope it's clear, Pisces, that I consult the stars, the planets, the retrogrades, the alignments, and the various houses of mercury and cards before I make this stuff up.  

So, back to bees.  They're haplodiploid, which means that the males only have half the genetic material that females do.  Union of egg + sperm grows into a female bee, and unfertilized egg grows into a male bee.  The male bee (drone), of course, has the ability to fertilize a queen. (Alas, the act ends in death for the drone, and a lifetime of fertility for the female, so being a drone isn't all it's cracked up to be.)  

Infertile females (workers, not the queen) can lay eggs that grow into drones.  If you think about that for very long, Pisces, it gets confusing.  (Or is that just me?  Once again, I feel like Algernon.  I know there's something interesting here, but it's just beyo…

Horoscopes: the weird guilt edition and NOT REAL PROBLEMS edition

Pisces (2/19 – 3/20):  Weird guilt:  That last bit of the toothpaste tube -- it's hard to squeeze out the final three to seven brushings.  (How lazy am I?)  But if I throw it out too soon, sheesh, we all know that's wrong.  There's something attractive about the brand new easy-to-squeeze tube, Pisces.  For the good of our teeth and the planet and a good night's guilt-free sleep, however, we must eke out every last bit of toothpaste before we discard.  I didn't make up the rules, I just enforce them.  (That's what we say in the permit biz all the time, btw.)  Oh shoot.  Pisces?  It turns out I'm writing about toothpaste? Yes, it's come to this.  I'm sorry.  You solve for X, I'll solve for why.

Aries (3/21 - 4/19):  Confession:  I'm turning into hot plate woman.  My stove/range/oven (Grrr, why isn't there one word for the whole damn thing?  Range?  Really?  I don't even know what a range is, and you probably don't either unless you&…