Showing posts from September, 2013

Horoscopes, Tableside.

Aries (3/21 – 4/19):I spend a lot of time thinking about other ways to make money.  They aren't exactly "get-rich-quick" ideas -- they're more like, "get-poor-slowly-ish" plans.  Here's one:  a food truck that would hang around near the whineries, and deliver snacks to the tourists/tasters.  What appeals to me?  What could be more basic or important than delivering calories to the other humans?  

I was talking to two lovely people about this idea.  "Are you in?" 
"Yes!" said the LA.  "I'll design the menu and think up food.
"Yes!" said the entrepreneur.  "I can help with the whole marketing aspect."
Then there was this awkward moment where I was supposed to chime in with some important thing that I can contribute.  We still had our hands stacked on each others in the middle of the table.
"Um, I can do the horoscopes, I guess?"
Being the generous people that they are, they were all, "Perfect.  How…

Horoscopes: The Bucket List Edition

Aries (3/21 – 4/19):I saw two slugs this morning on a sidewalk, and their heads were lifted up.  Right?  Did you even know slugs are creatures with a head to lift up?  Or do you think of them as more like slimy, body-less tongues without taste buds?  Me too!  Do the slugs you know normally hang out in cobra pose?  No, I didn't think so, Aries.  But the front part of their little slippery bodies was up off the pavement, antennas pointed toward the vast above. I stopped to watch for way too long (which equals seven minutes), and then poked one of them, and he/she returned to the lowly slug posture that I'm more accustomed to.  I felt sorry for that.  Do slugs have dreams, Aries?  Find some dreams of your own this week.  Look up.  Don't let anyone poke you with a stick, but if they do, rise up again.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  The other day, I was at the gas station and R. pointed out a man sprinkling ashes from a bucket, in a tiny funeral-ish ceremony of one.  Well, two if you co…

The random edition

Aries (3/21 – 4/19):People have been remarking lately on the fact that I only have an inside voice, and am not capable of shouting.  (Does it seem like some people only listen to shouting?  But that's a different rant, and so inappropriate for this cheery blog!)  I've decided to call it an Insider Voice, which I think makes it more compelling.  Doesn't everyone want to be an insider?  Aries, use your insider status for good, not evil.  You're about to have a remarkable week.  Don't squander it!

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  I've been doing lots of math for free at the Khan Academy, and I'd highly recommend it if you have a solitaire addiction.  (Ahem.  You know who you are.)  I personally have an irrational fear of global transient amnesia, and I'm trying to innoculate myself against it with math.  Suiting up as a mathlete.  See all the dark blue squares, Taurus?  That's mastery!  I know, it's mostly in concepts like one digit addition, but I will work …