Showing posts from September, 2011

The votes are in

The votes are in, and fixing the car won by a clear margin, so the car is in the shop.  That’s how voting works.  If you put it to a vote, you abide by the results, and don’t keep calling for recounts and redistricting and getting all weasel-y.

Let it be known that even though I voted against the fix, I did it anyway.  Don’t think too hard about that please.  At least I know right away that it’s really weird, which I believe is a sign of mental health right there, correct?  At the moment, I’m driving an enormous Nissan Sentra with adjustable cup holders, which doesn’t seem like a thing that should exist on this earth.  I get the sense that the repair might take a long time, because Marcia, the kindly woman at the repair shop told me she’d send me e-mail updates every Tuesday and Thursday about how it’s going.

I have no way of knowing if people’s votes mean, “Oh, please please please please don’t let her write about the economy and other boring stuff that she knows nothing about,” or w…

Please advise

I'm not very interested in the ins and outs of the economy.  I vaguely understand the basics of this whole disaster, but let's review.  I promise it won't be tedious all the way through.  Skip ahead if you bore easily.

Mortgages were a good money maker, so banks sold tons of them, and when they ran out of people who qualified for loans, they just let everyone have one so they had more to sell.  Which sounds odd -- if you're in the business of wanting to get paid back, why loan to people who aren't likely to do so?  For example, I'm unlikely to loan money to that guy loafing on my couch.  But mortgages were sold and resold and bundled in groups, and it got hard to tell exactly what you were buying.  One guy loafing on the couch was mixed in with four working guys, but they got increasingly diluted by couch guys as time went on.

Remember when they used to sell mystery boxes at thruway rest areas? You could get a girl box or a boy box, and the contents weren't…

Sheer Amazement issue

Aries (3/21 – 4/19): We were wondering why this certain park is called Wilmott Gateway Park the other day.  Turns out it really is a gateway park.  Start here, and pretty soon, you'll be going to other parks.  Maybe even national parks, if you can stand all that government involvement in your life.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  I had to fill out a form at work the other day, and the guy who took the information, whom I've known for about 10 years, asked my middle initial, so I turned the question around because I'm on a kick of using the most boring conversation starters ever.  Where could that possibly go, I thought to myself.  But he says, "well, all I got was a middle initial. I didn't even get a name."

I questioned him about that, because seriously?  Besides the obvious, like what kind of lazy-ass parents do that, there's the math of it all.  How does something become the middle when there's nothing in front of it? An…

What's up with all the haters?

Will people who hate the government get increasingly pissy and eventually dismantle the whole grand experiment?  They have nothing to gain by helping government to be successful, because their entire point is to prove that it’s a wasteful, sucking, harmful, intrusive machine.  The more they make that true, the better they look.  It’s like negotiating with a recalcitrant four-year old, who, when you try to take a walk, get’s all zombie-legged and whines, “But I can’t.  My legs don’t work….”  And of course it becomes true, because for legs to work, the person attached to them has to be willing to try. 

The democracy idea assumes that reasonable thoughtful people will honestly show up at the negotiating table ready to listen, learn, understand, compromise, and stand firm when that’s the right thing to do.  Who would have envisioned that we’d elect a bunch of nay-sayers who just want to stop everything?

Will the tea-partiers, who claim to have “Christian values” demonstrate even more bla…

Chore extravagence

I sometimes think we’ve traded the urgent, exhausting, and dangerous efforts at survival that our ancestors dealt with for the opportunity make phone calls, look things up on the internet, and stand in line.  I don’t want to get all cheesy, like, oh, how I long for a simpler time when it would take every calorie I could grub out of the land to create shelter.  No, that’s not where I’m going with this. But I am kind of pissed off at how much non-essential stuff clutters up our days, and how unsatisfying it is.

I sometimes feel guilty that I’m not more productive and don’t just get right on things.  But I had this realization today:  It’s not me!  It’s the chores themselves.  Yes, it’s their fault.

These “chores” aren’t the kind like Laura Ingalls Wilder had. No slopping the pigs or making a dress out of flour sacks.  No.  It’s these weird hassle-y chores that are spreading virally in the new millennium.

I started Labor Day weekend with a bit of momentum to accomplish some things before…

Do I dare to eat a peach?

Aries (3/21 – 4/19):  A while back I thought I could write better horoscopes if I would jot down ideas as they came to me.  We've seen how that worked out - the random scraps of paper tucked everywhere, marred with meaningless phrases, like "binder".  So I came up with a new plan, which is to have a little tape recorder in the car.  First, find the tape recorder.  Then buy the batteries.  Then find the tape recorder again.  Then have an idea.  Then have an idea while driving, and when the tape recorder hasn't fallen out of reach.  It's all gonna come together soon, Aries.  For you too.  This is your week.  Make the most of it.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20): So I'm sitting the big name brand coffeeshop, using their wireless network to write this, and a lady comes up and taps me on the shoulder.  "How did you get your wireless connection?"  I tell her how to log on to their network, but she looks at me blankly.  "Could you come help me?"  So I go over…